Not to Self-Publish

I think it was this comment on my recent blog post "To Self Publish, or Not to Self Publish" from my dear writing critique partner, Kelly, that made the little bells go off.

"What I think…is that this change of direction or at least consideration is most importantly a nod to your own maturation. It is refinement of self that counts, and what is most important is what matters most: "it's because I love it. I love to read, tell, and write stories, and I'll always do it." This is the free-est, the most essential place you'll ever be. Live in this and the rest will take care of itself…the moment we surrender the tension of controlling the outcome too is the moment the miracle finally unfolds. "

First of all, NO, you may not have Kelly as a writing critique partner, pal, and sage, because she's all mine. But second, and more important, do you hear her gentle acknowledgment of my fear?

It really boils down to fear, with a little impatience thrown in, doesn't it? And are fear and impatience any way to start a relationship or make a decision?

Should I really give a time limit of several months to find an agent before I self-publish? That's not really giving my story a chance, is it? Over and over again, I hear that persistence, plus a great story, plus persistence results in a publishing contract. Giving myself three months to find an agent is stupid and short-sighted.

I'm usually a decisive person, but everything looks a little cloudy right now. I'm having trouble discerning the path I should take, but maybe it's because my work in progress isn't ready.

Next week, I head to the Breakout Novel Intensive with Donald Maass and Lorin Oberweger. Hemingway's Girl probably won't know what hit it after the workshop. I look forward to devoting all my waking hours for a whole week to writing. No doubt, I'll return with a new set of ideas.

I'd love to hear yours, too.