Ficlet Friday: Taco Time
A Pivot and Slip missing moment: Felix and Lydia talk, Lydia schemes.
“What are we eating?” Felix eyes his paper plate, shifts it around a little, then leans in to take a sniff that he immediately regrets. He recoils and tries to smile hopefully at her through his watering eyes.
“Kimchi tacos,” Lydia chirps, scooping a large bite into her mouth and saying around it, “Good, right?”
“Uh… Looks…” Pungent. Soupy. Like a congealed orange sauce covered insult to tacos. “Interesting,” he finally says.
Lydia winks at him from across her messy desk, then takes a phone call while he’s working up the nerve to try a bite. She’s negotiating something - something with a significant price tag - so in an effort to not eavesdrop, he distracts himself with taking a wary bite. Not bad, actually. Tangy.
“See?” Lydia says after hanging up, “Jack won’t even try them. He’s so fussy.”
Felix shifts in his seat at Jack’s name. They haven’t spoken since Felix admitted that he was boxing again. He doesn’t know what to say. He’s not even angry that Jack won’t come watch him fight, he’s just… Disappointed. In himself or Jack, he’s not even sure.
“Is he- How is Jack?”
Lydia takes another bite, and they eat together in silence for a while as she considers his question. The more Felix has of the kimchi taco, the more he likes it. Kind of like Lydia herself, who comes on pretty strong but who he’s really come to like the more time he spends at Jack’s place. He loves how adventurous she is, how determined. How she and Jack both have the hugest, kindest hearts.
How he already knows the danger of telling her out loud that she reminds him of pickled cabbage and fish sauce.
“He’s doing the whole ostrich thing.”
Felix blinks. “Sorry?”
“You know,” she ducks her head down, “Trying to pretend everything is fine by not thinking about it at all. The thing about Jack is he sometimes goes to the zen place as a way of coping by not coping.”
“Oh,” Felix says, the half of a kimchi taco in his stomach starting to feel a little sour. He’d been so focused on his own feelings of being hung out to dry yet again by someone he loves, he hadn’t really stopped to consider how hard this fight might be for Jack.
Lydia finishes her lunch, folds up the paper plate and tosses it in her overflowing trashcan next to the desk. “He’ll come around. I’m on it, don’t worry.” She wiggles the mouse on her computer and clicks a few things, then gives Felix an unsettling glare. “As for you: Fighting again is pretty epically stupid. You know this, right?”
Felix’s stomach churns again and he flushes hot on the back of his neck, arms crossing over his chest and jaw clenching. “Excuse me?”
She sighs, face softening. “Look, Felix. I think you’re great. You’ve been so good for Jack, I haven’t seen him this happy in- I honestly can’t remember. But he’s my best friend. He’s terrified of losing you and I don’t know that I can bring him back from the brink again. Not from that.”
Felix’s first instinct is to get up and walk out, maybe punch something on the way, but he catches it, takes a deep breath and then another, and the urge passes. Lydia isn’t trying to hurt him. There is no one here to fight.
“I need to walk away from boxing on my own terms. I want to let go, but I don’t know how else to do it. Maybe that is stupid, but it’s all I have.” He picks at a spot where the silver paint is peeling away from the arm of his chair. “I don’t want Jack to feel like he has to fix me. I want to be whole. For him.”
Lydia tips her head, her perpetually messy bun listing to the left, hazel eyes quickly scanning his face. Sometimes Felix wonders if Lydia naturally takes in everything faster than most people, or if she’s just so used to doing too many things at once that she’s forgotten how to slow down. Either way, she seems to be satisfied with Felix’s answer, gives a nod and goes back to whatever it is she was doing on her computer.
She ignores him for long enough that Felix starts to feel uncomfortable. “Should I go or?”
“Sure.” Lydia pokes her tongue out, types something and shakes her head. Felix stands. “No wait.” She looks him up and down and up, and then grins. Felix has known her long enough now to understand what that determined flash in her eyes means. She has a plan.
Felix sits. So far, he’s a fan of Lydia’s scheming. After all, it lead him to Jack.
Lydia steeples her fingers on the desk and sets her chin on top. “Have you ever thought about coaching?”
