THE WORD FOR TODAY IS RETARD

by Alex Bennet
from HUSTLER Magazine August 2010

DID SARAH PALIN GO ON THE WARPATH WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY ARROWS IN HER QUIVER?

Hell froze over a while back: Rush Limbaugh said something I agreed with. Can the apocalypse be far off?

Limbaugh was talking about Sarah Palin's snit over a comment made privately by White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. The ever-mouthy Emanuel had said Dems who disagreed with him were "fucking retarded." Palin, who will use anything to get publicity—including the Down's syndrome issue from her already-overworked womb—demanded Emanuel be fired and that the word retarded be banned from usage.

Limbaugh, presumed to be in the Palin camp, took her to task with a rant about political correctness. During his tirade he used the word retard over and over again. I was astonished. Was the most hated enemy of liberals correct? Were Palin's remarks just another instance of political correctness out of control? Of course they were! So which is worse: Emanuel's evisceration of some Democrats or the way Palin uses that poor kid of hers? Armed with information the child would be born with Down's syndrome, she chose to have it anyway, citing her religious beliefs. Palin did this after already giving birth to a litter of four. And despite breaking water in Texas, the "mother of the year" still got on a plane to Alaska, thereby putting the fetus in danger. (Some believe she actually wanted it to die.)

I believe the real reason Palin didn't get an abortion was because it would look bad to her base. This outweighed the reality that the kid, who'd never have a normal life, would become the responsibility of her other children after she was gone.

As for Palin's motherhood credentials, they're not great. Her daughter Bristol got knocked up. Where was the birth-control discussion that should have taken place when it was apparent she was coming into sexual maturity? There was none.

Any other unwed girl her age (17) might very well have gotten an abortion, but not poor Bristol. Mommy was running for Vice President, and it just wouldn't look good. So Bristol had the baby to keep Mom's career intact. Then there are the rumors surrounding her son Track's enlistment into the armed forces. Some say it was a courtordered choice in an alleged case of school vandalism. The record is muddied because, it's believed, Palin used her position as governor to cover things up.

Meanwhile, Trig—the Down's syndrome baby—was schlepped around the country so his mom could hold him up at every campaign stop like Simba in The Lion King. She used the kid's handicap as a prop. This is the woman who finds Rahm Emanuel in bad taste? Somebody should call Child Protective Services.

A few weeks after her tirade against the White House staffer, Palin targeted Seth MacFarlane and his blissful creation, Family Guy. She was reacting to the episode in which the Griffins' son Chris becomes enamored of a girl at school with Down's syndrome.The fact that Chris loved the girl in spite of her condition was lost on Palin. She was livid because, when asked by Chris what her family did, the girl replied, "My dad is an accountant, and my mom is the former governor of Alaska."

Surprisingly, voice actress Andrea Fay Friedman—who like the character she portrayed on Family Guy was born with Down's syndrome— came forward to blast Palin for exploiting people with the condition. Friedman scoffed, "My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes."

Even more perplexing was how Palin excused Limbaugh's statements. She claimed they were satire. I've got news for you, Sarah: Rush wasn't using satire; he was using commentary. Family Guy was using satire. I guess Palin just didn't want to piss off the right-wing's number-one megaphone.

So why all this political correctness over a perfectly legitimate word? Even medical dictionaries describe Down's syndrome as "mental retardation." Yet we're no longer able to use the word? Now we're supposed to say "developmentally challenged." People are no longer "handicapped," they're "handicapable." I ask you: How much of this is politically correct, and how much is pure condescension and mock sympathy?

Rahm Emanuel's only sin was that he didn't get the memo, and Sarah Palin's biggest problem is that she epitomizes the C word: CRAZY!

Alex Bennett is a longtime HUSTLER contributor. The twotime Emmy winner, who broke into broadcasting as a teenager, currently calls Sirius Left 146 his radio home.