Fall = Love and Hate… but mostly Hate

Fall means many things to me… not many of them good.

First it means that soon my brain will be cycling up. That my mental health issues will become more insistent. My bipolar will start its month long stressing of my coherent thoughts. And I will become less able to handle- well… just about anything. My need for routine will become more important as will the need to have stress removed.

Fall also means winter is right around the corner. Cold reaching deep into my bones and not letting go until some time in May. Snow banks up to my waist to tromp thru two or three times a day to feed wood to the furnace to keep the worst of the cold away. Fingers too cold to type coherent words and shoulders hunched up to my ears causing stiff neck muscles and back pain.

It is the time I catalogue all the projects I failed to do over the summer, while also listing all the things that must happen despite the cold and wet, before ice covers everything. This part, obviously, working directly agains the whole, follow routine and reduce stress aspect.

The only good thing about all this, is that my routine, my coping mechanism, the one thing my brain -even crazy as it gets – allows for me to do, is write (and edit).

These hell months that are descending, like a pack of harpies, at least allow for my Muse to channel into me and use me for greater lengths and purposes.

Filed under: Homesteading, Mental Health, MIscellaneous, Writing Tagged: bipolar, Brain, crazy, cycle, heat, Mental Health, muse, winter, wood, writing