"I’ve taught myself how tosay no, how to stand my groundwhen someone is trying toshift my weight..."

“I’ve taught myself how to

say no, how to stand my ground

when someone is trying to

shift my weight to a place

that is better for them.

I learnt the hard way of how

losing someone can feel as if

you’ve lost everything. When I

feel an oncoming absence

I fill my room with the things

I love so that I never feel empty

again. Someone once told me

that forgiving someone means

becoming a better person,

but I still have not forgave those

who have put me through

torture for the sake of their

own pleasure and still

I get better as the days go on.

I don’t care anymore about

being called selfish because

if this is the only life that I will

ever live, I want to survive

in the only way that I know how.

And if that means not exposing

myself to anyone who claims

that they won’t use my secrets

against me then I will board up

the walls of my heart so that

no one can break through.

This is not a poem about

realizing that I am better off

now than I was before I knew

that not everyone you love

will not always love you back,

but a poem to show myself

that I made it through those

rough times and if I keep

holding on I will only become

stronger than I am right now.”

- "On reflecting," - Colleen Brown