I NEED YOU

Yes, you reading this post. I need your help.

Okay, I’ve been sorta doing the marketing thing like a sloth. I’m kinda shy and it’s all kinds of intimidating to put yourself out there. But as a serious writer, not that all writers shouldn’t be serious – but some people write for fun, I think… Anyway, I need a team. Like Yesterday!So if you could pretty please with lobsters and peanut butter sauce help me out. I'd really appreciate it.  
I need a team of awesome people working to help me secure my place in the hearts of all readers. I want fandom sites created for my characters, I want every teenager between the ages of 15 and 18 in every country known to man (and on every universe unknown to man) reading my books – and their parents, and aunts and uncles, and cousins…, I want stalkers camped outside my house to try and catch a glimpse of me, I want a statue of me resurrected at my Elementary School…   Well, actually, I just want readers to enthusiastically purchase my book – and tell me how much they love it! Is that too much to ask? Will you please be part of my street team?  Sweet! Please click this link for the awesomeness to begin.  Disclaimer: I don't actually eat lobster with peanut butter sauce. But if you do I'm not judging. But ewww...just saying.  Have a great day. Read a book and laugh!!!