Experience is a Bullshit Word

Today’s post is gonna be a bit angry. It might even qualify as a rant, but here it goes.

You know how Red said in ‘Shawshank Redemption’ that rehabilitated was a made up word? Well, that’s how I feel about the word ‘experience.’ It is a made up bullshit word that has no credit in this world what so ever.

What does this have to do with writing you might ask…absolutely nothing. I merely want to discuss one of the many reasons I am pursuing writing so hard and not trying to get a normal day job like everyone else. Sure, I have a day job. But one of those soul sucking ones that people dread – I don’t want one of those. And all these years, that was exactly what I thought I wanted. Turns out, now that is my worst fear. Convenient that I figured this out after I had gotten a degree and spent tons of money on education. And sure, my education has helped immensely with my writing skills. But I didn’t need as much of it as I thought I did over the years.

When I first got out of school, everyone told me that if you go to college, you will get a job. And if you get a Masters (which I did), you are guaranteed an even better job or a promotion down the road. Well, that’s just not true anymore. What you really need is this fucked up bullshit word called “experience.” Employers use this world more than any other in the world. Even for jobs such a bagging groceries and delivering pizza. Apparently you have to have a significant math skills to know that you don’t put meat in the same bag as the other groceries because juices can get into the other stuff.

Basically, I believe I was lied to. What I really needed was to have a job while doing all these other things and make sure that I have that little bullshit word on my resume so it doesn’t get lost in the heap where everyone else is.

Oh, and what is up with this ‘apply online’ bullshit. When you have limited ‘experience’ like myself, you have a hard time filling out those online things. They generally want you to fill in the last two or three places you worked and won’t move forward with the application until you fill that part out. And you can’t apply if it is not filled in. Or you just get lost in the slush pile like everyone else.

Then I went to a Chinese restaurant recently. The owner came out to talk to us because we are regulars. He was discussing how he wanted a new waiter but no one was qualified because no one around our area had enough ‘experience.’  I wanted to vomit. This restaurant has all of seven tables, is quite small, and the menu was relatively easy to memorize. And yet he felt that the qualifications needed to be quite high.

Workers of the world, when were you given a first chance? Who took a chance on you? It used to be the case (at least my parents tell me this) that anyone who wanted a job could find one. Now, with the influx of degrees, a piece of paper saying you studied at Uni doesn’t mean shit because tons of other people have the same thing. They want to know about your practical “experience” because everything else is officially theoretical at this point.

Or maybe it’s just the banks screwing us over… telling everyone to take out loans and get that degree so you can get a job otherwise you will be fired from life. And now that they are bathing in money we can’t afford to pay back and fucking up our credit reports.

This is something that has bothered me for ages and continues to do so. When computers got to certain level of technology, I knew that I would have problems getting a job. Because they are being used to filter through applications. They have programs that literally look through your resume in under a few seconds to search for key words. And they say that hiring managers (don’t even get me started on HR) only look at an application for a few seconds.

Want a quick way to piss me off? Tell me when I ask your manager how to apply that I need to “apply online,” then watch the blood start to flow.

Here’s to getting my own business rolling. Because this stuff has had my brain in a permanent twist for over two years now.

So….the bottom line is: FUCK EXPERIENCE! It’s a made up word so you assholes in suits can have a job and come to work each day. And all the while tell me all the ways in which I suck at life because I didn’t get the same qualifications that you did.

Rant over.