Rebuilding Relationships

Sharing your truth allows old fears to die.

I’ve been asked by several people how my relationship is with my mom. The truth? Better now that I’ve aired my dirty laundry. Maybe, on some small level, she appreciated that I exposed my fears and anxieties for what they are: a haunting piece of a past I’m not proud of. I’ve been asked if she feels exposed or blamed. Or if we talk anymore. All valid questions for an outsider, I think.

Our relationship is better than it has ever been. She and I can communicate more effectively, discuss our differences and move past them without feeling unheard or misunderstood. Maybe that’s an age thing, though. Maybe as a thirty-something who’s ready to build my own family, I’m a lot more forgiving of what I thought her faults were.

Maybe it’s because I’ve made enough mistakes to realize how powerful they are. I see how my choices made an impact on my life and the lives of others, and I’m aware that without the therapy I received I probably wouldn’t be able to communicate these things appropriately. After all, when we’re so attached to our own stories that we can’t see life outside of them, how can we change our paths? I’m not sure I have a good answer to that.

Here’s what I do know:

My mom loves me and I love her. Even through our differences.

Our generational gap, the openness of our modern society, has allowed us to speak more freely about things that were held private before. I cannot hold it against her that she grew up with a different viewpoint on what was appropriate to share and what was not, just as she cannot hold it against me.

There is always a silver-lining when we face adversity. This happens to be the one I’m most proud of today.

Because who doesn’t want a second chance at a better relationship with their parents?

I’m a happy girl.