ISIS Has a Serious Recruiting Problem

The Onion‘s got the scoop:

[R]epresentatives for ISIS told reporters Wednesday that they have so far encountered considerable difficulty in finding American recruits who are physically fit enough for jihad. …

“Even though these people are enthusiastic about righteous martyrdom, I honestly don’t see most of them even fitting into a suicide vest, let alone lugging a 40-pound rocket launcher through the desert,” said ISIS operative Bakir Hamdani.

Whole thing here.