Let me be Grumpy in Peace!

As I've aged, I've found I'm being ruder to people on the telephone. You know the people I mean—telemarketers. I now understand why some old people are beyond grouchy. They've had enough of people asking them for something, bugging them when they just want a bit of peace, and generally being in demand. I mean, those old folks have had years and years of it.

Eff knows what I'm going to be like by the time I'm their age. I'm starting to get bad now.

Take ten minutes ago as an example. I'm waiting on an important call, and the phone rings. Whey hey, excellent. I can get this call out of the way and return to a book cover that's been giving me fits all morning.

Except it wasn't the call I was expecting. It was some guy from my internet provider trying to get me to "switch" to their company. After he gave his spiel he then said, "Do you know what the best thing is about this, Mrs Ellis?"

I said, "NO, but I'm sure you're going to tell me…"

"Yes, Mrs Ellis. The best thing is—"

"The best thing is," I said, wanting the ability to stretch my hand down the phone line and strangle the mofo, "I'm already with your company with the deal you're offering."

"Oh, are you, Mrs Ellis?"

"I am, sir, and I'm really busy so I need to go."

"Right, Mrs Ellis, let me just tell you—"

"I'm busy."

"Let me just say—"

"Let me just say—again—I'm busy."

"Is there a time I can call you back when you're less busy?"

"Yes, there is."

"And when would that be?"

"When I'm asleep. I'm busy all the time, so take your chances."

"Right on, Mrs Ellis. We can discuss—"

"The fact that I'm already with your company, with the deal you're still trying to tell me about even though I've told you once I'm with your bloody company and have that very deal."

"Yes, Mrs Ellis. That's right!"

"Oh my God. Right. I'm going to be rude. Please bugger off. Thank you. Byeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Yes, I really said that.

Now, let me grow into a grumpy old bastard in peace, will ya?