I'M BACK
Ok, ok, I'm not officially back, but I'm getting there. I still spend about 75% of my day changing diapers and trying to protect poor Ben from his insanely enthusiastic and extremely clumsy older siblings.
Here's what I've learned so far on my maternity leave:
Best shows to watch during late night feedings: Cheaters and Jackass. They're always on at 3 AM and they're just as (if not MORE) entertaining without volume.Baby blues are so last season, I've got baby bitchface: Yeah, so I've been a little crabby lately. This might have something to do with the fact that I'm operating on an average of 4 hours of sleep a night and I'm shoehorning myself into clothes that are at least three sizes too small. It's really hard to smile when the waistband of your yoga pants are cutting off your air supply. Anyway, Laura has been giving me a hard time and quickly responding to any and all e-mails that come in because she claims my negativity isn't productive. I'd argue that while my negativity isn't productive, it's at least entertaining. This picture really makes me want to kill someone. Seriously, if I met Gisele in person at this point in my life I'd like to think I'd be able to snap her in half or if she manages to take me down with her sweet kung fu moves, at least force feed her a cheeseburger.I'm irrationally angry with my husband. No good reason, really. He's just around a lot and it's kind of fun to unleash the brunt of my hormones on him from time to time. It's my birthday this weekend and I've given him just enough rope to hang himself with. Anyone want to take bets on whether or not he buys me a pair of skinny jeans in a size 2 or a bikini? Based on his gift giving history this might end in divorce.Ben's theme song has revealed itself: Ok, this is totally lame, but all of my kids have a theme song. It's a random song that brings back fond memories of me blasting it in the car in order to drown out their incessant crying. (Feel free to mail in my nomination for Mother of the Year right now) Without further ado, Ben's song*:I'm thisclose to taking the blog back: Yeah, that's right Laura and Lisa Writes is going DOWN. Well, it's totally going down once I figure out how to type on my laptop and feed Ben at the same time. I swear I'm like a week off from getting my technique totally perfected. Watch your back, Laura.So...that's what I've been up to the past couple of weeks. I miss all of you desperately and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. Ben is gorgeous and I'm loving every second of my time with him, but I'm excited to get back to my old, compulsive self. Soon enough.
In the meantime...I've got important business to take care of...
Have a fabulous weekend everyone!
*Please note, we only listen to the edited version of this song while driving carpool. No need to call child services. Yet.
Here's what I've learned so far on my maternity leave:
Best shows to watch during late night feedings: Cheaters and Jackass. They're always on at 3 AM and they're just as (if not MORE) entertaining without volume.Baby blues are so last season, I've got baby bitchface: Yeah, so I've been a little crabby lately. This might have something to do with the fact that I'm operating on an average of 4 hours of sleep a night and I'm shoehorning myself into clothes that are at least three sizes too small. It's really hard to smile when the waistband of your yoga pants are cutting off your air supply. Anyway, Laura has been giving me a hard time and quickly responding to any and all e-mails that come in because she claims my negativity isn't productive. I'd argue that while my negativity isn't productive, it's at least entertaining. This picture really makes me want to kill someone. Seriously, if I met Gisele in person at this point in my life I'd like to think I'd be able to snap her in half or if she manages to take me down with her sweet kung fu moves, at least force feed her a cheeseburger.I'm irrationally angry with my husband. No good reason, really. He's just around a lot and it's kind of fun to unleash the brunt of my hormones on him from time to time. It's my birthday this weekend and I've given him just enough rope to hang himself with. Anyone want to take bets on whether or not he buys me a pair of skinny jeans in a size 2 or a bikini? Based on his gift giving history this might end in divorce.Ben's theme song has revealed itself: Ok, this is totally lame, but all of my kids have a theme song. It's a random song that brings back fond memories of me blasting it in the car in order to drown out their incessant crying. (Feel free to mail in my nomination for Mother of the Year right now) Without further ado, Ben's song*:I'm thisclose to taking the blog back: Yeah, that's right Laura and Lisa Writes is going DOWN. Well, it's totally going down once I figure out how to type on my laptop and feed Ben at the same time. I swear I'm like a week off from getting my technique totally perfected. Watch your back, Laura.So...that's what I've been up to the past couple of weeks. I miss all of you desperately and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. Ben is gorgeous and I'm loving every second of my time with him, but I'm excited to get back to my old, compulsive self. Soon enough.
In the meantime...I've got important business to take care of...
Have a fabulous weekend everyone!
*Please note, we only listen to the edited version of this song while driving carpool. No need to call child services. Yet.
No comments have been added yet.
