Talking Kink ‘n Seduction – Etiquette of Sir by the Growling Guru

Etiquette of Sir

                                               

Being new guest writers here, My Baby Boy and I have been attempting to first go over just some rudimentary basic intros into the world of bondage and kink. Trying to decide what should come first is a bit like juggling pots and pans. Not really but doing so is one of my fonder ways of torturing my subbie. Beba decko did a good job with the first two blogs so I will leave his kitchenware alone for now. But I decided that the topic of Sir etiquette was a good one to go over.

I see this frequently on facebook and Fetlife discussed in the different pages or groups for BDSM fans, Players and Lifestylers. The question is often always worded the same:

 

“Do you call other Doms Sir when you meet or are talking to them?”

 

How it is worded of course directs the question mostly to the submissives for their input. But on occasions I have seen a few Doms/Dommes answer as well. The irony is the majority type answer that comes across.

Now I don’t know if this brat higher-than-thou subbie attitude I often see is stemming from the increase of online D/s relationships that outnumber the RL relationships or if it’s from the fans of the popular books 50 Shades of Grey that has recently made BDSM the latest hot sex tip?  What I do know is that if I take my beba decko out to a social and I heard any kind of disrespecting attitude come from his lips that I often see online he would rightly so find himself over my knee in a public spanking for the disrespected Dom to have ring side seat view of.

Now before you stomp your feet and throw your fists at your side. I will coach you as to why.

 

 

Ego has no place in the BDSM Lifestyle or in its scenes.

 

In most circumstances should you and your Dom be out and meet up with another Dom, it’s likely that you’re at a munch or other Lifestyler social.

So in regards of one of the most common answers to the above question; “I don’t call anyone Sir until they’ve earned it with me.”

He/She isn’t your Dom/Domme; they don’t need to prove anything to you, however you are at a social or event of common like people, They earned the invitation just as you did. Act like you belong there by being polite.

 

                               

Another common response: “I don’t call anyone but my Dom Sir no matter what.”

This sort of insubordinate remark makes others think perhaps your Dom hasn’t trained you to behave very well and maybe you need some more time on His/Her knee until you do learn.  At any social of your community, the sub is a reflection of a Dom’s control, and guidance. Act like a snotty brat and it looks poorly on your Dom.

 

Now three VERY important things here:

1 - This does not mean you actually have to use the word Sir/Mistress to each and every Dom you meet. At a social or event, no one, certainly not a proper Dom/Domme, is going to insist that you do. But it’s polite to do so, at least the first time you are introduced. It doesn’t have to have the same reverence of your Sir but a proper sir would go far to make your Dom look good among His/Her peers as well as you being a well behaved subbie/pet/little. Save the tantrums for private time and the ego for when you hang your collar up for the night. But a word of advice, at least use titles for the Host/Hostess or you may not find your name on the next invite if you don’t.

2 - If in a scene with your Dom and another Dom of His and your choosing, and you have consented to the scene, than Sir/Mistress is expected. Not doing so will likely result in a punishment for disrespecting the Doms in the scene with you.

3 - It is not expected for you to be perfect every time at every social. But if you’re feeling brattish, getting jealous over something, or feeling pushed or disrespected by someone else: it is NOT your place to handle it. Take it to your Dom and let Him/Her take care of it. This isn’t the grocery store where you can read them the riot act just to show you can. You are at a Lifestyler/Players social event; roles are adhered to.

**NOTE: This only  pertains  to actual social events: Munch, collaring ceremony, Socials, or private members clubs, etc… something you were invited to or are a member of that community. This does not include any type of online internet  encounter. Different protocals for online.

                                           

 

The thing to remember is when out meeting/making friends, part of why you are there is because your Dom delights in showing you off. So don’t let Him/Her down. Put on your best behavior to show them how well He/She has trained you and make Him/Her look good. If you are a brat, rather than a sub, then put on your best vixen muzzle. Sir/Mistress when used in kind is not going to harm your D/s bond. If doing so does, some serious communication is needed, and maybe you and your Dom aren’t ready for social mingling yet. For those who are, the rewards for making your Dom highly admired will be well worth learning to put your ego away.

The Growling Guru

 

If you have questions (curiosity, fun or serious) or would like to know more about a certain topic, leave a comment below or send to growling.guru@gmail.com, (your name will not be shared)