The Fiver | Oh Mario! How could you not do the little dance!

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In modern football, its not enough for players to jog about a bit, trying to kick the ball and occasionally head it, with a view to making passes or scoring a goal and stuff. No, theyve also got to jig about like dancing bears at the end of each game, in front of the stands, applauding the supporters for putting in 90 minutes of hard graft eating pies, snorkeling bevvy, and filming over-rated midfielders under-hitting corners on their smartphones. Woe betide the player who doesnt prostrate themselves thus! And so last night Mario Balotelli, the funk raging after Liverpools risible display in Basel, stormed off straight down the tunnel without first doing the little dance. Oh Mario! How could you not do the little dance!

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