All Change
Not the kind of view one typically gets in Manhattan.
When you’ve let your blog updates slide for as long as I have, how do you jump back in and start writing again?
A lot has happened this year. After a lot of struggling, especially since hurting my back in January, I finally came to terms — a couple months ago — with the fact that my time in New York City had run its course. I spent six years living there – I’ve already been back for one visit, just this past weekend, to wrap up some final loose ends – and they were years that taught me a lot. But towards the end, in particular, I realized that (for now at least) I’d learned what I needed from the city. I was being ground down by various circumstances, I wasn’t making the progress I needed to make, and my back injury had come to dominate every facet of my life. After a lot of soul searching, I decided that it was time to move on.
So I moved.
Now I’m living in a small town, not too far from where I grew up. More importantly, I was lucky enough to find what has been, so far, a tremendously wonderful job where I can write (and write creatively) and work with a group of talented, dedicated people, in an atmosphere with a great work/life balance (so far) that’s helping ease my stress and rebuild my health.
The move was (and still is) a big shift. At least as much culture shock (if not more) as when I moved to the UK, at least as much (if not more) as when I moved back. It’s taken some settling in – an ongoing process – as I shift my schedule, my habits and so much more, but after all this time I can finally say I’ve come farther than I have left to go.
While I had intended to write a long explanation tracing all the steps it took to get me from there to here, I realize (in my 6am clarity) that’s less important than taking a deep breath and moving on.
After dozens of procedures and probably hundreds of doctors appointments, I am happy and relieved to report that my back is now in a place where I can sit again, where I can drive a car (yes, I have a car now, no more complaints about the MTA from this girl), where I can walk around my new home organizing things, and where I can pick things up off the floor without getting stuck or panicked about how to get back up. I’m not back to 100% just yet, but I feel like I’m getting there. And I’m grateful – so grateful – that as difficult as getting through this year so far has been, I never wound up needing surgery. Knock on wood.
Going forward, there will be more writing, there will be more quiet time, there will be more re-connecting with the things that have been important to me on a personal level, and may have been neglected over the last few years. I’m going to try and shift my focus back to things like my creative writing, and other creative projects. I’ve already fallen down a Pinterest hole when it comes to decorating my new home, and I’ve started paying more attention to my photography again – for the first time in years, taking more than just quick snapshots here and there.
Anyways. I don’t want to bore anyone, and this is more a post to get me moving on blogging again than anything else. I have internet now, so you should be hearing a bit more from me as we move forward.
