Mars to Bars
Toying between the Devil and Deep Sea, Angel and Cloud nine, days and weeks surreptitiously tiptoed away. Further accentuating the nimbleness of time, lack of inertia kept me away from updating this space.
Why do we need to update everything? Living area to software, relationships to skill set, why we are expected to do the same. How sane life would have been if nothing required periodic updating. Imagine a status quo all around you. Same scene, same setting, same people, same shops, same movies playing, same shows.
Freaky it sounds. And what would have been the biggest impact of this morbid status quo status? Well, poor Arnab losing job, as the nation would not have been keen to know anything as it would have already known whatever was worth its salt. No mushrooming news channel, no newspapers invading our privacy every morning. But then…
Newspaper reminds me of the ridiculous tiff going on between TOI and our own, next door, hotty, Deepika. For starters, it’s time when we should stop treating TOI as a newspaper and taking any of its comment seriously. Long before when some Mr. Jain got the brilliant idea of having something then called ‘Page 3’ and instructed the journalists to scout for paid news, the pre-independence legacy crumbled down.
Newspapers are not made by signing up Ranbeer Kapoor who for sure would have never even read a single headline. Back to the issue which the nation wants to know—Deepika’s cleavage. The bigger question is does the nation really want to know? With new hotties on the block, Shraddha and the other lady (can’t get her name), I am referring to the girl with that perpetual pout…damn it, that daughter of Mahesh Bhatt, who gives a damn to Deepika? Her innings are almost over. And if she wishes to reveal her cleavage, not that anyone is interested in it anymore, why should anyone object to it? TOI, which has ended being the Punjab Kesari of English language. Deepika, flaunt it all that you can, I am with you. If you need any help, I mean if you want me to make it my DP, do let me know.
DP, as we know stands for Display Picture. Now don’t make me tell you the meaning of ‘selfie’ too. have I spelled it correctly?) I bet you know it already. Don’t you? What you need to know that in Hindi ‘selfie’ translates into ‘khud ki lena.’ So the picture posts of a guy from the state I come from, UP, or its neighboring state, Bihar, would read something like ‘khana khate hue khud ki lena,’ ‘Doston ke saath khud ki lena’ ‘Film dekhte hue khud ki lena.’ Eeks, how preposterous!
Well, some good news. My fourth title, Café Latte has been launched and is doing well. Thank you for all your support. It was launched on 19th August, at ITC, Mughal, Agra amidst a gala event hosted by the Agra Book Club. A great launch indeed. The screening of 26 Down Express, a short film, based on one of the stories from Café Latte made the event more special. This was the first time when a title was launched with a film based on it. Guinness book of world record? Mmmm, Limca book of records for sure. Also, stories of two young, talented authors; Kartikey Sharma and Vasundhara Goyal, features in the compilation. Thank you ABC for everything. A word of special thanks to Dr. Shivani Chaturvedi for being the gracious host, Nidhi Khanna Lall for her operational excellence, Dr. Sarika Srivastava for all her support, Dr. Anjali Gupta for her never ending likes and comforting words, Komila SunejaDhar for that sumptuous cake, Minu Khandelwal for all her wishes, Kripa Sudhakar Kishore for excellent media handling, Mrs. Sangeeta Bhatnagar for gracing the event, Saumya Gupta for sparring time and being there, Ashutosh Chibba for his warm hospitality, Sumita Chibba for her warm support, Reshma Bhatnagar for being the guest editor and every single member for being there.
Agra launch was followed up by another event, a book reading organized by Delhi Book Lovers at Kunjum Café, Hauz Khas, Delhi. Thank you Kunal and Leher Sethi for everything. On 5th October Café Latte gets launched at Crossword, Ahemdabad. This event would be hosted by Ahemdabad Book Club. Another ABC? Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. Let me get some coffee. Latte for you, cappuccino for me. Yeah, feels better now.
The festive season is here. So is my season of feeling depressed. Don’t know for some reason, I get these acute festive blues. Especially around Diwali, it peeks. I sulk, get crankier, no where to be seen or heard. There is only one specie that shares similar strains of feeling blue around Diwali. Any guesses? Yeah, I know that you do. That wicked smile of yours is a giveaway. You got it right, DOG. Poor thing, they scamper for cover, not being able to bear the maddening sound of crackers. Maybe I was a dog in my past life. Or who knows, I still am.
A lot many people would love being a dog. At least that would get them entitled to a kind pat, a hug and for sure, some love. Ask Bilawal Bhutto and you would know what I mean. He is facing and living the age old saying “Koi bhi Bhutto, na India ka na Pakistan ka.” His outcry of getting back Kashmir has made him a worldwide laughing stock. He should have known that even Oxford can’t teach common sense. Did Rahul Baba also attend Oxford? No, I think he went to Cambridge. Both these top universities would be cursing the day they took Bilawal and Rahul on board.
What Oxford and Cambridge cant, the age-old university called Life does, and that too with such panache. Listen to Modi’s address at the UNGA and you will know what I mean. The man who was denied visa by the US, hounded by activists funded by US based donors, stood tall, in front of global audience, with his outstandingly articulated, global leader like speech. I still can’t decide what took the cake; his oratory or his vision for the world. In just one stroke he reduced Pakistan’s bickering to something so petty that it merit no attention. Proud of you Mr. Prime Minister you have made me feel proud to be an Indian again.
And why not, there are reasons as I have started seeing some hope. Firstly, we have successfully put our spacecraft in Mars and secondly the country has efficaciously put ‘Amma’ where she deserved to be; behind the bars. Mars and Bars! I am sure that “Massi” “Bua” “Tau” “Bhaiya” and every single larger than life politician who ruled the country or its states and focused on filling their own coffers would be shivering in their saris and dhotis.
The cynic in me would like to sign off on a positive note, a happier note, leaving you with some food for thought.
What if Rahul Baba had become our PM?He would still be wondering why the country is going gaga over Mars. After all it is just a chocolate bar.
Why do we need to update everything? Living area to software, relationships to skill set, why we are expected to do the same. How sane life would have been if nothing required periodic updating. Imagine a status quo all around you. Same scene, same setting, same people, same shops, same movies playing, same shows.
Freaky it sounds. And what would have been the biggest impact of this morbid status quo status? Well, poor Arnab losing job, as the nation would not have been keen to know anything as it would have already known whatever was worth its salt. No mushrooming news channel, no newspapers invading our privacy every morning. But then…
Newspaper reminds me of the ridiculous tiff going on between TOI and our own, next door, hotty, Deepika. For starters, it’s time when we should stop treating TOI as a newspaper and taking any of its comment seriously. Long before when some Mr. Jain got the brilliant idea of having something then called ‘Page 3’ and instructed the journalists to scout for paid news, the pre-independence legacy crumbled down.
Newspapers are not made by signing up Ranbeer Kapoor who for sure would have never even read a single headline. Back to the issue which the nation wants to know—Deepika’s cleavage. The bigger question is does the nation really want to know? With new hotties on the block, Shraddha and the other lady (can’t get her name), I am referring to the girl with that perpetual pout…damn it, that daughter of Mahesh Bhatt, who gives a damn to Deepika? Her innings are almost over. And if she wishes to reveal her cleavage, not that anyone is interested in it anymore, why should anyone object to it? TOI, which has ended being the Punjab Kesari of English language. Deepika, flaunt it all that you can, I am with you. If you need any help, I mean if you want me to make it my DP, do let me know.
DP, as we know stands for Display Picture. Now don’t make me tell you the meaning of ‘selfie’ too. have I spelled it correctly?) I bet you know it already. Don’t you? What you need to know that in Hindi ‘selfie’ translates into ‘khud ki lena.’ So the picture posts of a guy from the state I come from, UP, or its neighboring state, Bihar, would read something like ‘khana khate hue khud ki lena,’ ‘Doston ke saath khud ki lena’ ‘Film dekhte hue khud ki lena.’ Eeks, how preposterous!
Well, some good news. My fourth title, Café Latte has been launched and is doing well. Thank you for all your support. It was launched on 19th August, at ITC, Mughal, Agra amidst a gala event hosted by the Agra Book Club. A great launch indeed. The screening of 26 Down Express, a short film, based on one of the stories from Café Latte made the event more special. This was the first time when a title was launched with a film based on it. Guinness book of world record? Mmmm, Limca book of records for sure. Also, stories of two young, talented authors; Kartikey Sharma and Vasundhara Goyal, features in the compilation. Thank you ABC for everything. A word of special thanks to Dr. Shivani Chaturvedi for being the gracious host, Nidhi Khanna Lall for her operational excellence, Dr. Sarika Srivastava for all her support, Dr. Anjali Gupta for her never ending likes and comforting words, Komila SunejaDhar for that sumptuous cake, Minu Khandelwal for all her wishes, Kripa Sudhakar Kishore for excellent media handling, Mrs. Sangeeta Bhatnagar for gracing the event, Saumya Gupta for sparring time and being there, Ashutosh Chibba for his warm hospitality, Sumita Chibba for her warm support, Reshma Bhatnagar for being the guest editor and every single member for being there.
Agra launch was followed up by another event, a book reading organized by Delhi Book Lovers at Kunjum Café, Hauz Khas, Delhi. Thank you Kunal and Leher Sethi for everything. On 5th October Café Latte gets launched at Crossword, Ahemdabad. This event would be hosted by Ahemdabad Book Club. Another ABC? Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. Let me get some coffee. Latte for you, cappuccino for me. Yeah, feels better now.
The festive season is here. So is my season of feeling depressed. Don’t know for some reason, I get these acute festive blues. Especially around Diwali, it peeks. I sulk, get crankier, no where to be seen or heard. There is only one specie that shares similar strains of feeling blue around Diwali. Any guesses? Yeah, I know that you do. That wicked smile of yours is a giveaway. You got it right, DOG. Poor thing, they scamper for cover, not being able to bear the maddening sound of crackers. Maybe I was a dog in my past life. Or who knows, I still am.
A lot many people would love being a dog. At least that would get them entitled to a kind pat, a hug and for sure, some love. Ask Bilawal Bhutto and you would know what I mean. He is facing and living the age old saying “Koi bhi Bhutto, na India ka na Pakistan ka.” His outcry of getting back Kashmir has made him a worldwide laughing stock. He should have known that even Oxford can’t teach common sense. Did Rahul Baba also attend Oxford? No, I think he went to Cambridge. Both these top universities would be cursing the day they took Bilawal and Rahul on board.
What Oxford and Cambridge cant, the age-old university called Life does, and that too with such panache. Listen to Modi’s address at the UNGA and you will know what I mean. The man who was denied visa by the US, hounded by activists funded by US based donors, stood tall, in front of global audience, with his outstandingly articulated, global leader like speech. I still can’t decide what took the cake; his oratory or his vision for the world. In just one stroke he reduced Pakistan’s bickering to something so petty that it merit no attention. Proud of you Mr. Prime Minister you have made me feel proud to be an Indian again.
And why not, there are reasons as I have started seeing some hope. Firstly, we have successfully put our spacecraft in Mars and secondly the country has efficaciously put ‘Amma’ where she deserved to be; behind the bars. Mars and Bars! I am sure that “Massi” “Bua” “Tau” “Bhaiya” and every single larger than life politician who ruled the country or its states and focused on filling their own coffers would be shivering in their saris and dhotis.
The cynic in me would like to sign off on a positive note, a happier note, leaving you with some food for thought.
What if Rahul Baba had become our PM?He would still be wondering why the country is going gaga over Mars. After all it is just a chocolate bar.
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