Do You Wonder?

Some Thoughts I Wonder About
Why is a mosquito buzzing in my ear as loud as the Zephyr train that I heard as a kid approaching the East Dubuque, Illinois Train Station? Yet, I don’t hear “Trixie” when she speaks?
How does a really heavy person get out of the back seat of a two-door car?
Did anyone ever whisper outside a hospital near the signs that read, “Quiet Hospital Zone?”
When I’m trying to swat a fly, it seems to remain still only when it lands on my body. Why is that?
Why do some people jump from spiders and run from snakes but won’t walk around the block for exercise? Maybe we need more insects and reptiles for weight loss.
Did you ever notice the shortest sentence ever spoken is found in the Bible? It is, “I am.” The longest sentence ever spoken is, “I do.”
Why do some employers refuse to hire people who smoke, and yet they hire people who are morbidly obese?
If I drink the rest of a glass that is half-empty, am I still a pessimist?
I drink two ounces of red wine a day because some reports say it’s healthy for my heart. Other reports say three ounces a day is considered heavy drinking. I wonder if I should stop going to communion?
Why is it that the older I become, the better I was?
Boys and men laugh when their friends call them disgusting names. Why don’t girlfriends and wives laugh if we were to say the same words to them? Aren’t they our friends?
Would I save money if I sprayed my yard to kill the grass and then mowed the weeds every week?
Why does it rain soon after I wash my truck?
Why does a clean car seem to ride better?
Does my dermatologist ever vacation at the beach?
Why do people ahead of me in line buy or redeem lottery tickets on days when I’m in a hurry?
Why do some drivers pull out in front of me and then slow down in the “fast lane?”
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. If I eat a piece of cake while backing up, will I feel better?