The New Normal
It’s a beautiful morning here in Toronto, and I’m enjoying a nice cup of tea. Next Friday, and every Friday from this point forward, will be different. I mentioned way back in January that my partner was eligible to retire in the summer. She didn’t retire back then. She wanted to finish a few things at work, so she stuck around a while longer. But this coming Tuesday (September 30) is the big day: her last day at work. Then she’s a free woman.
It will be quite an adjustment for us. Jen has always been a bit of a workaholic. I haven’t minded, because we’re not an attached-at-the-hip couple. I couldn’t be with someone who wants me to do everything with them and basically meet 99% of their social needs. It would drive me crazy.
It’ll be a much larger deal for Jen than it will be for me. Her life will significantly change. For me, it’ll be a matter of having her home more than she is now.
We’ve known this time is coming, so we’ve had a lot of conversations about it and we’re prepared for a few bumps in the road here and there. We’ll eventually work out the new normal. She has several activities she’s interested in doing that will get her out of the house on a regular basis, which will help both of us.
We had a practice week of sorts when the film fest was on. In past years, I’ve taken the week off. This year, I didn’t. If we weren’t going to a movie, I carried on as I would when she’s at work. We were both pleased that I was able to write and do my other activities as usual. We’ve worked out a system for how to let her know that I don’t want to be disturbed without her having to ask me.
She won’t expect me to hang out with her during the day (though I’ll be making an effort to spend time with her initially, while she adjusts to her new normal), but I took a look at where I spend my time, with the view of eliminating stuff I don’t think is doing anything for me or anyone else.
As a result, I won’t be blogging over at Canadian Lesfic anymore, at least not on a regular basis. Before I wrote my last post for the site, I considered asking Liz Bugg, who oversees the blogging schedule, to remove me from the rotation, but I put it off. I was only delaying the inevitable. I sometimes find it difficult to come up with posts for this blog. It was harder for Canadian Lesfic, because the topics have to be more generic (I wouldn’t write this post over there, for example), and I’m not an essay-type writer.
As I said to Liz, even though I only had to spend an hour or so every six weeks writing a post for Canadian Lesfic, it adds up, and I could be spending that hour on something that makes more sense for me. It can be a struggle to fit in everything I want to do, so stubbornly doing something that wasn’t a good fit for me was starting to feel foolish. I might write the occasional guest post. I’m still the tech person over there. I’m still an admin. I just won’t be blogging there on a regular basis.
My editor has Deiform Three, and I should finish the first draft of the Roberta story on Monday. I timed everything that way in case my writing output dips while we’re adjusting to the new reality. If it does, I won’t miss any deadlines.
See you next week! 
The New Normal is a post from: Sarah Ettritch
