every day at the gym

I go to a local city-owned pool/gym about twice a week. I have a treadmill and a stationary bike, plus a set of weights and a bench at home. And of course, there are roads everywhere. But I don't have a pool, although occasionally I lust after one of those Endless Pools. Awesome. I am not a particularly social athlete. I don't ever work out with other people, really. It is the time for me to have private talks with myself and to feel the unique clean feeling of quiet. I suppose I like quiet a lot more than other people. Have I mentioned I am a writer?

At the gym/pool there are always other people. I notice them, the older woman who wouldn't let me swim in her lane, the guy in his 50s who still wears a speedo under his increasing girth, the other triathlete who can keep up with me, the casual swimmer who will never learn a flip turn. In the weight room, there are teenage boys trying to bulk up, sometimes in groups, the guys who can lift twice what I do, but I wonder if they can run a mile, the older women overweight who are talking to each other about how many calories they have burned, the elderly woman who is sure she should keep her heart rate under 100 and so puts no weight on the bike. Perhaps most noticeable of all is the guy who weighs over 300 lbs who comes in to swim regularly.

I admire them all. I hope they keep coming. Sometimes they talk to me, ask me how I can go so fast or what race I am signed up for next (if they know me pretty well). I don't mean to judge people by their size, but it happens. I feel an instinctive judgment coming on and have to shove it away, reminding myself that no matter what people have done before, they are here now, and so they are part of my group, the people who are trying to do better, to feel better, to look better.

I worry that sometimes my hyper competitive nature takes over and those around me feel like I am too intimidating to approach. But I can give advice to people who are just starting, and I like to. I really think I understand how to start out. I didn't spend all my life this way. I remember when running .1 mile on the treadmill was hard, something to dread in the morning. I remember trying to lose weight and feeling starved all the time and people telling me that all I needed to do was just "eat less and exercise more." It wasn't as simple as calories in, calories out.

I guess it's like what I try to do in terms of housework. Some days, I get an hour to spend cleaning walls or painting. Other days the best I can do is pick up a few things and put them where they actually belong. But I try to do something every day. Those of you who are doing the same (and I assume that is pretty much all of you), here's to you. Cheers!