Psychology (or why my brain don't work no good)
So a question I have asked myself a couple times over the years, and CONSTANTLY since July 21st - why is it always easier to believe bad over good?
Ten people tell you that your outfit is cute. One douchebag says your ass looks fat. Night. OVER.
It's the same way with reviews. One negative review easily discredits all positive.
Why? This is not logical. This doesn't make sense. From a clinical, objective stand point, I can step aside and say "not everyone will like everything, and just because someone doesn't like it, doesn't mean it's 'bad', it's just a difference of opinion. A difference of taste. And one versus many obviously shows which one you should take seriously."
But from a normal, every day person stand point, it's more like "GOD WHY!? WHY!? WHY DID I DO THIS!? Maybe I can delete the book and no one will ever know I hit publish!"
Which is STUPID. I KNOW this is STUPID. I would think someone else was STUPID for reacting this way. So why do some many of us authors feel this way?
I had an "ah ha!" moment today, after I received a less than stellar review. I had read the review and kept thinking "yup, exactly. That's what I was worried about - that the story read like that, came off like that. Horrible. I knew it."
And that's when it dawned on me - confirmation.
Someone gives a positive review. Lots of people give positive reviews. HUNDREDS of people give positive reviews. I'm shocked. I'm surprised. I'm astounded.
But ONE person gives a negative review, and it feels like a confirmation. All the others are just nice surprises - the negative is confirming the thought that is already in my brain, thus my brain takes it to be the real truth.
How horrible we are, as human beings, that most of us are hard-wired to think this way, feel this way. We're never quite good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, talented enough. We're always thinking we fall just a little short, so every agreement with that sentiment, is like someone speaking the truth.
It's all a very STUPID way to think.
I'm glad I had that moment, it made me feel better about some things. Sure, negative comments are always gonna make a person feel a little down, but realizing that really it's me feeling that way, and not the person saying those things, makes it easier to deal with and move on.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Separation went LIVE today! As of a few moments ago, it was #671 in Kindle Paid! Dayuuuuuum - that's 671 out of 1.3 MILLION Kindle books! I'll take that! I am also ranked at #217 for Contemporary Romance in ALL books, and #1,171 for ALL books, PERIOD.
Feel very ..., elated. Amazed. Wonderfied. Is that a word? It is now.
Thanks everyone.
Ten people tell you that your outfit is cute. One douchebag says your ass looks fat. Night. OVER.
It's the same way with reviews. One negative review easily discredits all positive.
Why? This is not logical. This doesn't make sense. From a clinical, objective stand point, I can step aside and say "not everyone will like everything, and just because someone doesn't like it, doesn't mean it's 'bad', it's just a difference of opinion. A difference of taste. And one versus many obviously shows which one you should take seriously."
But from a normal, every day person stand point, it's more like "GOD WHY!? WHY!? WHY DID I DO THIS!? Maybe I can delete the book and no one will ever know I hit publish!"
Which is STUPID. I KNOW this is STUPID. I would think someone else was STUPID for reacting this way. So why do some many of us authors feel this way?
I had an "ah ha!" moment today, after I received a less than stellar review. I had read the review and kept thinking "yup, exactly. That's what I was worried about - that the story read like that, came off like that. Horrible. I knew it."
And that's when it dawned on me - confirmation.
Someone gives a positive review. Lots of people give positive reviews. HUNDREDS of people give positive reviews. I'm shocked. I'm surprised. I'm astounded.
But ONE person gives a negative review, and it feels like a confirmation. All the others are just nice surprises - the negative is confirming the thought that is already in my brain, thus my brain takes it to be the real truth.
How horrible we are, as human beings, that most of us are hard-wired to think this way, feel this way. We're never quite good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, talented enough. We're always thinking we fall just a little short, so every agreement with that sentiment, is like someone speaking the truth.
It's all a very STUPID way to think.
I'm glad I had that moment, it made me feel better about some things. Sure, negative comments are always gonna make a person feel a little down, but realizing that really it's me feeling that way, and not the person saying those things, makes it easier to deal with and move on.
IN OTHER NEWS:
Separation went LIVE today! As of a few moments ago, it was #671 in Kindle Paid! Dayuuuuuum - that's 671 out of 1.3 MILLION Kindle books! I'll take that! I am also ranked at #217 for Contemporary Romance in ALL books, and #1,171 for ALL books, PERIOD.
Feel very ..., elated. Amazed. Wonderfied. Is that a word? It is now.
Thanks everyone.
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Do you know when Separation will be released for the Nook?
IN OTHER NEWS:
Separation went LIVE today! As of a few moments ago, it was #671 in Kindle Paid! Dayuuuuuum - that's 671 out of 1.3 MILLION Kindle books! I'll take that! I am also ranked at #217 for Contemporary Romance in ALL books, and #1,171 for ALL books, PERIOD.
Feel very ..., elated. Amazed. Wonderfied. Is that a word? It is now.