Taming Tantrums with Baby Sign Language
By Misty Weaver
Chief Editor, Baby Sign Language
My son was a biter. He would bite his sister, he would bite me, he would bite his father … and once, I caught him biting the dog. That child went from laid-back to furious in less than a second.
I got all kinds of advice. I tried time outs. I tried ignoring him. One of my friends suggested I bite him back – I didn't try that.
We had dabbled in Baby Sign Language but I had never taken it too seriously, but now that he was drawing blood, I decided I had better amp up my efforts.
He was about a year old at that time, and I had tried to teach him the signs for "milk," "more," "please," and "hungry." That's about it. But he wasn't using them much.
So, I channeled the spirit of my own mother and I got a little — shall we say — stern. When he was hungry, he would point at the cupboard that contained the cereal bars. If I did not instantly produce a cereal bar, he would begin to scream.
I had to ask myself, "Self, what would my mother do?" and when he pointed at the food cupboard, I pretended I didn't know what he wanted. And he screamed. Keeping my distance, I asked, "Are you hungry?" and made the sign for hungry. He screamed. I asked again, seemingly perplexed, "Are you hungry?" and made the sign. He screamed. I said, "Do you want a book?" and after making the sign for book, I handed him a book, which he quickly knocked to the floor. I said, "Well honey, if you don't tell me what you want, then I can't help you," and I tried to ignore him. This went on for quite some time – me acting dumb and him acting angry. I'm embarrassed to say just how long it went on, but then, miracle of all miracles, he made the sign for "please." It wasn't the sign for hungry, but I found it good enough. I asked him again, "Are you hungry" and then gave him the cereal bar.
From that moment, I decided that I was not a patient enough mom to deal with tantrums, or violent little baby teeth. I began to introduce new signs to him: hurt, help, blanket, book, bed, down, bath, dog, and tractor. (I know, that one's weird, but the kid really loves tractors.)
Only a few days later, we had the fruit bar episode again, only this time, with his blanket. He threw his blanket out of the crib and then without missing a beat, started screaming and gnawing on the crib rail. I waited it out. I continued to demonstrate the sign for blanket. It took several minutes (though not as long as with the fruit bar) and then finally, exhausted, lo and behold, he begrudgingly made the sign for blanket. And I gave him his blanket and showered him with kisses.
Today, my son is almost two and though he is still a bit of a hothead, thank God he doesn't bite anyone anymore. He uses his signs faithfully and only has tantrums when I have my back turned and don't see him signing. My life is definitely better thanks to baby sign language. Take it from me, a mom with very little patience and several bite scars, Baby Sign Language really does help prevent tantrums. Check out our list of Baby Sign Language Flash Cards for more help .
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