Bro-ears

(Today is a great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!)

I’ve spied shell necklaces under a collar.

I’ve seen “Ice” swaying about one’s tank.

I even once witnessed pants touching the ground,

But there’s a new sheriff in town: In-ear monitors

In-ear monitors (aka “ears”) are high-tech earphones typically molded to fit snug inside your ear. You know, something a musician uses while performing.

I’m enjoying my job as a snobby barista, making lattes and denying room-for-cream, when suddenly a local worship leader walks in with them ears hangin’ low. Like, he got in his car with those on.

What’s my next move?

Do I say anything? I mean, if I won’t, even the lattes will cry out:

“Forgive me sir are those extra ears around your neck, or are you just happy to gram me?”

Instead, I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Instead, I convince myself that he hadn’t noticed two ear-molds weighing around his neck.

I tell myself, “At any moment, he’ll have to zip up his boots ‘n’ jet out of this God-forsaken coffee house, straight onto stage for a youth group that can’t wait for him to string his ears back down his shirt.”

I breathe. I assure myself it’ll all be over faster than I can say “4-count click set at 250 BPM”, when suddenly he presses his in-ears inside his actual ears (to, I honestly don’t know, listen to music maybe?).

Silver is the lining.

I sit back, call out “Latte to-go”, understanding full well… Bro can’t hear me.

Worship leader readers, (fun rhyme) have you ever done this?

Non-worship leader readers, (still pretty good) have you ever seen this?

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