31 Ways to Mess Up Your Marriage – #24 – Failure to Prioritize Time Together

31 Ways to Mess Up Your Marriage
#24 Failure to Prioritize Time Together

We all know that we need to spend time together as husband and wife. We realize that we will grow apart if we do not communicate with each other–and communicate well.

One of the saddest situations that we have encountered as we’ve grown older is observing friends and acquaintances marriages that have entered into the final years in a state of bitterness, or indifference, or separateness. One couple we know live basically in different towns. One couple never eat their meals together. Another spends copious amounts of time in separate hobbies and recreation. They have decided to remain married, but there is not the vibrancy, mutual respect and deep mature love that should be true of a long-term marriage.

One of the reasons for this, in my opinion, is the lack of putting time with one’s mate in the early years at the head of one’s list of priorities. If we do not intentionally carve out time to spend with our mates, the demands and busyness of life will crowd it out week by week until we are looking at months and then years of neglect of the relationship. (Tweet this!) In ancient Jewish culture, when a couple married the groom took off the first year of marriage to simply spend with his bride, getting to know her, learning her likes and dislikes, learning how to please her. He was excused from military duty, and the couple built their house during this year (Deut. 24:5). Doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me!

Turn off the television and computer, put down the phones and tablets, and set aside time to talk at the end of the day. Plan a date night at least a couple of times a month – just the two of you – no children. (Tweet this!) We recommend that couples go to one marriage conference a year, just to fine-tune their marriage.

Little foxes spoil the vine, and not being intentional in spending time together can be a huge vine spoiler. Sit down with your spouse this week and decide to spend more time together.

What is the biggest obstacle in your marriage to finding quality time together?


What are some ways you have successfully overcome this obstacle so far in your relationship?
What benefits do you see when you have spent true quality time with your spouse?

 

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