Beer Goggle Book Reviews

Part One

Welcome, dear and gentle reader and devoted reviewer of books.

I'm Liz. I write books. I also read a fair few and also write reviews, unless I hate a book and then I typically just set it aside and let the author keep laughing at those of us who bought it all the way to their giant bank account.

But I also am a Beer Wench. What that means to you, sweetie, is this: I am gonna take off my Nice Reviewer Hat exactly once a month and stop reading all those annoying "helpful" posts about "ignoring the trolls" and "not feeding them" or whatever the hell you do with jerks who wish they'd written a book and take it out on you by being assholes on your goodreads page.

Whew.

Sorry.

Lost the train there for a second.

Ok, so, by way of example, I'm gonna take a few books I have enjoyed and read their 1 and 2-star reviews, and respond with my own either dissection of said review or counter it with my own, much more positive one, with my BEER GOGGLES firmly in place.

Reviews, for an author are such a pain in the ass. I mean, let's be honest. You want them all to rave. But the bottom line is no matter what you write, There Will Be Haters.

So I'm gonna take a look at some of the more ridiculous ones (subjectively speaking), strap on my Beer Goggles and make some poor author's day.

Simple.

I'll start today with a Big Time Author Novel, "What Alice Forgot," by Lianne Moriarty. It's One of THOSE, about to be a movie, with a Big Girl Publisher…the usual. But I loved it. So I went and found this review:
"Everyone was happy and life was perfect at the end of the book. That's It. If that's what you care about, then this is the perfect book for you, no loose ends, no unhappiness, no remembrance of the heartache or pain the book was supposed to be based on. It's cardboard characters with a cardboard life. (P.S. Harlequin Books can give you the same type of story, and they're cheaper.)"

Liz's Beer Goggle Review:

First of all, let me start by saying this person obviously read some OTHER book and mistakenly wrote this review on this page. It is, hands down, one of THE most honestly rendered depictions of vampire-like friendships between women, frustration with a stagnant marriage, and a woman's psychotic break when a friend who is sort of, not really, a friend is killed by a freak accident, leaving her dangling, emotionally speaking. I despise cardboard characters. These were flesh and blood and maybe they used sentences too long or something for this particular reviewer.

Harlequin? Seriously? Go read one, lady and leave the Big Girl Books to the rest of us.


There, see? Wasn't that FUN?

So, if you know I've read and enjoyed your book, or a book you loved, and can toss me a really ridiculously bad review (not a legit one, those exist) shoot me an email and I'll take it under consideration for the October Edition of: BEER GOGGLE BOOK REVIEWS!
Help spread the word, and pass the craft beer with a tweet:

Liz's Beer Goggle Reviews. Strapping on realism in the world of trolls and haters! http://www.brewingpassion.com/2014/09... #BGBR

Editorial note: If you are the person who WROTE the review above, be sure and check your ego at the bloggy door. We are allowed to disagree with each other, literarily speaking.

Cheers y'all
Liz


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