No one knows this about me but…
I have friends over at my house. My friends are laughing, and playing video games (Yes, I still play video games. Don’t judge me, it’s one of my stress relievers. LOL). I’m sitting at my desk, half listening, and half writing. I’m working on my latest novel.
“Ben, how can you even concentrate on writing with all this noise?” My friend Alvin asks.
“I want this book out by a certain date, so I have to use every free minute I have and multitask to get it done.”
“Your book will do great, man. Stop worrying. You know you got this.” My friend Terry assures me.
While I appreciate their confidence and encouragement, no one knows this about me, but I’m scared shitless. The truth is, I don’t want to fail. A question you might ask is what is failure to me?
I worked hard with my novels “Monster” and “Wounded.” They were received well and I was blessed to win awards for both books. While I’m happy about those things, I can’t get too comfortable. I’m scared that I’ll be a one hit wonder or in this case, a two hit wonder. I never want to lose my hunger to produce great books or to put out a book that people can’t relate to and hate. No one knows this about me, but I beat myself up, editing and second guessing myself every day. I have a good “poker face”. I do well at acting like I’m confident and calm, but in reality I worry that readers will not understand the messages I’m trying to relay or they just won’t care about my books altogether.
I promote my work a lot because I’m not a well-known author yet. I try my hardest to promote aggressively without coming across as overbearing and annoying. Between working as a Detective for NYPD, trying to balance being a father, husband, friend and author, it’s very difficult to make time for everything, hence why I multitask often.
No one knows this about me, but sometimes as a way to balance writing and playing with my daughter, I have her practice writing her letters next to me. Last Christmas, my daughter’s wish list was pretty small. All she wanted was a new bed, a few toys, and a desk. The last request caught me off guard. I wondered, what four year old wants a desk? Christmas came, and my wife and I bought her what she asked for. I didn’t understand why my daughter was so eager for me to put her desk together, but I quickly assembled it to stop her from whining. (When your daughter says put together her desk, you put together her damn desk! I know, I’m a punk when it comes to her. LOL) I watched her push her desk next to mine and her words made that day one of the proudest moments for me.
“See Daddy, now I have a desk and I can write just like you!”
I was happy that I had such an impression on her, but I also realized I needed to include her in my activities. Whenever I’m working on a book at home, I ask her if she wants to “work” too. She sits next to me and practices her numbers and letters. I spell out different words for her to practice and those are the little assignments I give her to increase our bond and include her in my activities.
In conclusion, I hope this essay helps you to get a glimpse into my personal feelings and philosophies. I hope this helped you to know a little more about me.WoundedBen Burgess Jr.
“Ben, how can you even concentrate on writing with all this noise?” My friend Alvin asks.
“I want this book out by a certain date, so I have to use every free minute I have and multitask to get it done.”
“Your book will do great, man. Stop worrying. You know you got this.” My friend Terry assures me.
While I appreciate their confidence and encouragement, no one knows this about me, but I’m scared shitless. The truth is, I don’t want to fail. A question you might ask is what is failure to me?
I worked hard with my novels “Monster” and “Wounded.” They were received well and I was blessed to win awards for both books. While I’m happy about those things, I can’t get too comfortable. I’m scared that I’ll be a one hit wonder or in this case, a two hit wonder. I never want to lose my hunger to produce great books or to put out a book that people can’t relate to and hate. No one knows this about me, but I beat myself up, editing and second guessing myself every day. I have a good “poker face”. I do well at acting like I’m confident and calm, but in reality I worry that readers will not understand the messages I’m trying to relay or they just won’t care about my books altogether.
I promote my work a lot because I’m not a well-known author yet. I try my hardest to promote aggressively without coming across as overbearing and annoying. Between working as a Detective for NYPD, trying to balance being a father, husband, friend and author, it’s very difficult to make time for everything, hence why I multitask often.
No one knows this about me, but sometimes as a way to balance writing and playing with my daughter, I have her practice writing her letters next to me. Last Christmas, my daughter’s wish list was pretty small. All she wanted was a new bed, a few toys, and a desk. The last request caught me off guard. I wondered, what four year old wants a desk? Christmas came, and my wife and I bought her what she asked for. I didn’t understand why my daughter was so eager for me to put her desk together, but I quickly assembled it to stop her from whining. (When your daughter says put together her desk, you put together her damn desk! I know, I’m a punk when it comes to her. LOL) I watched her push her desk next to mine and her words made that day one of the proudest moments for me.
“See Daddy, now I have a desk and I can write just like you!”
I was happy that I had such an impression on her, but I also realized I needed to include her in my activities. Whenever I’m working on a book at home, I ask her if she wants to “work” too. She sits next to me and practices her numbers and letters. I spell out different words for her to practice and those are the little assignments I give her to increase our bond and include her in my activities.
In conclusion, I hope this essay helps you to get a glimpse into my personal feelings and philosophies. I hope this helped you to know a little more about me.WoundedBen Burgess Jr.
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