How to Write a Breakout Premise

First, think about all the books that you really, really love. WHY do you really, really love them?
If you really, really love a book, you want everyone to read it. You tell everyone about it, right? WHY?
One of my current favourite picture books is:

Every time I read it, I laugh and laugh! The bears are replaced by dinosaurs who make delicious chocolate pudding instead of porridge; there are three HUGE chairs, and the dinosaurs are out to trick Goldilocks into becoming a delicious chocolate-filled-little-girl-bonbon for supper.
Just look at the endsheets! 
from Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs by Mo Willems
One can imagine Mo sitting at his desk thinking about the story premise, ticking off the options until he settled on just the right mix of elements. 
An SCBWI interview asked him: "Were there hundreds and hundreds of these that you came up with and by a process of winnowing you picked the craziest 122? How do you judge what's funnier than what? Are you putting yourself in readers' shoes or are you choosing what YOU think is funniest and confident we'll agree?"

"I write as much as I can, then take the unfunny stuff out," replied Willems.

It's the process of working out a breakout premise.
Because really, really amazing books 
1. Hold you captive in a world – you wish you could spend time hanging out with those characters, living in their world. It is just so convincing, compelling, filled with unforgettable details, yet uncluttered in the simplicity of its language. And if it's funny or sad or joyous to boot, you've got a real winner!

2. Have characters you wish you could invite home for a cup of tea. They are funny and interesting and you have a strong affinity with them; or perhaps they are the kind of person you wish you could be. 

Here's another character that I really, really like: 
from Doctor Hoof by Diana Kimpton and Garry Parsons
Doctor Hoof (illustrated by Garry Parsons) really wants to help others, but he's new in town. He has to revise his expectations about what sorts of animals he can help, but when he does try, it makes him feel great inside. Plus he makes lots of new friends with animals he would perhaps not have met otherwise. 

I once asked the author, Diana Kimpton, where she got the idea:



<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Arial; panose-1:2 11 6 4 2 2 2 2 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:10887 -2147483648 8 0 511 0;} @font-face {font-family:"ＭＳ 明朝"; panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:128; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:fixed; mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;} @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Palatino; panose-1:2 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"ＭＳ 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;} span.il {mso-style-name:il; mso-style-unhide:no;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family:"ＭＳ 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-fareast-language:JA;} @page WordSection1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.WordSection1 {page:WordSection1;} --"</style><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">"With <span class="il">Doctor</span><span class="il">Hoof</span>, it was the name that came first. My grandson couldn’t pronounce <span class="il">Doctor</span> Who properly and used to ask if we could watch <span class="il">Doctor</span> <span class="il">Hoof</span>. When I told my agent, she suggested that would be a good name for a picture book character and a horse with a stethoscope and a stetson immediately sprung to mind. All I had to do then was think of a story!!! </span></i><br /><br /><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I decided early on that it would be good if he had just moved somewhere new, but the story didn't come together until inspiration struck in the middle of the night and I woke my husband to declare "He lives in a one horse town." After that, everything slipped into place quite easily."</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I love the final spread in the book - the world of this party has such a joyous, friendship-filled feel to it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-untFxGqKUGA..." height="220" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from <i>Doctor Hoof</i> by Diana Kimpton and Garry Parsons</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>But breakout worlds and characters aren't enough. A third element is essential:</b></span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>3. </b><span style="background-color: yellow;">The <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">plot</b> is fizzy, bubbly and compelling</span>! The storyteller explores a topic that resonates with the reader, that is thought-provoking or dramatic –<b> in an original way.</b></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b> </b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>Importantly, something <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">big</i> is at stake!  </b></span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">You really care about what the author is saying and what is going to happen to those characters and their world. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The story is the storyteller’s vehicle for making the reader understand something meaningful. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">The dinosaurs stand to lose their </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">delicious chocolate-filled-little-girl-bonbon for supper (well, they do because not all stories end happily ever-after!) . . . </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-buT371j7q_w..." height="261" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr><tr></tr></tbody></table><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container"><tbody><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from <i>Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs</i> by Mo Willems</td></tr></tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">and Doctor Hoof nearly ends up friendless and unappreciated for his talent of helping others . . .</span><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fnRFFBz1JNA..." imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fnRFFBz1JNA..." height="320" width="280" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from <i>Doctor Hoof</i> by Diana Kimpton and Garry Parsons</td></tr></tbody></table><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">When you read a book you really, really love, you are never thinking,<b> "So what?” </b>and, <b>“Why should I care?”</b> You don’t look up until you reach the end of the book. When you get there, you think, “<b>Wow!”</b> The words and the pictures are seamless.</span><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span></span></span> </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FhCygKlUsTI..." imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FhCygKlUsTI..." height="81" width="400" /></a></span></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">You don't want to just write any book that readers will skim and soon forget. You want to write and publish those books that readers will really, really love. HOW?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">To write a breakout book, we must like the characters and we must know them intimately. We must know what motivates them. Importantly, the character must care about what is going to happen in the story otherwise <i>we won’t care</i>! </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">A breakout picture book must therefore have:</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3m5St7v2Heg..." imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3m5St7v2Heg..." height="133" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sometimes, the first premise we think of is the strongest. But sometimes, it needs ‘baking’. Then what do you do?</span><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">You can build it up by:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Jju2KlX-18..." imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Jju2KlX-18..." height="83" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Observe. Look at the competition (then forget about it). </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Write from the heart, from your gut.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And then ask ‘so what?’ again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">  </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Palatino;">Natascha Biebow</span></b></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Palatino;">Author, Editor and Mentor</span><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JUjF0_ceKFA..." style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JUjF0_ceKFA..." height="132" width="200" /></a><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.blueelephantstoryshaping.c... Elephant Storyshaping</a> is an editing, coaching and mentoring service aimed at empowering writers and illustrators to fine-tune their work pre-submission.  Check out my NEW <a href="http://www.blueelephantstoryshaping.c... group coaching courses</a>!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">Natascha is also the author of <i>Elephants Never Forget</i> and <i>Is This My Nose?,</i> editor of numerous award-winning children’s books, and Regional Advisor (Chair) of SCBWI British Isles.  </span><span style="color: blue;"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.blueelephantstoryshaping.c... class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span>