3 Ways of Looking at and Thinking about Other People

I have something to report from my therapy session.

I love therapy. And I think everyone should tell everyone all the things they learn in therapy because therapy is quite expensive. But if everyone can benefit from everyone’s therapy, I feel like it’s a really decent investment.

So, recently my smart therapist said this: There are three different levels of looking at and thinking about other people.

The first is innocent and pure.

Level One is the way a child sees other people. Children–before they hit a certain level of age and experience–don’t see faults in others. All is good.

Level Two is when we grow up a little and “wisen up.” Think teenagers. Now we can see the faults of others clearly. And so we think it’s our job to prove how smart we have become by pointing out those faults.

When we are operating at Level Two, we assume that anyone who is not pointing out other people’s faults is naïve–or just not smart enough to see the faults. We need to educate everybody about everybody else.

Many people operate this way their whole lives.

But when people operate on Level Three, they have wisened up more.

Yes, of course, people on Level Three see the strengths and the weaknesses in the people around them pretty clearly – just as clearly as those on Level Two. But Level Three-ers know that usually, it’s wiser and more gentle and more helpful to point out strengths and just let the weaknesses be.

The best observers would rather be wise, helpful and gentle than “smart.”

They take other people in like they would take in a child’s orchestra concert.

Kids’ concerts don’t sound all that good.

They are a train wreck, really, when you break them down into their parts. Their parts are mostly missed notes and flats and sharps and kids crying and snotty noses and uncomfortable plastic chairs and maybe a splitting headache or two.

But when we refuse to break a kids’ concert down into its imperfect parts and instead take it in as a whole, we realize that right there–in the midst of the mess, somehow–some really beautiful and holy music is being made. We get the chills for how lovely all the imperfect parts are together.

So to folks with Level Three eyes:

People are like kids’ concerts.

They don’t sound perfect. They are a big, old collection of faults sometimes. But taken in as a whole, they can give you the chills; they are so holy.

I’m asking God to help me look at everyone who crosses my path today through Level Three Eyes.

3 Ways of Looking at and Thinking about Other People is a post from: Storyline Blog