If Anita Blake is ever adapted for the screen I hope they hire these actors

The other day, I had this conversation with three ladies about author Laurell K. Hamilton, and it basically devolved into us "fans" discussing who would be our choice to play the various characters in her books should they ever make it to film. Today, there's even more options than standard television or movie. Netflix, for example, could grab this Marvel property and invest money in it ala House of Cards and probably attract even more viewers than those who flock to Hemlock Grove. Anyway, it's probably a safe prediction that these stories are getting a second look. If not, it needs to happen. Seriously, but not before I get my say :).

So first, an admission: I have this guilty pleasure, and it's reading Anita Blake books. Admittedly, I haven't read one in a while. The character stopped growing for me after about Skin Trade, however, maybe I was just in a mood for something else. Who knows, I may go back to them or just reread the entire series from start to finish.

Anita (like Pam on True Blood) has ONLY the best lines. Or I could give credit to author Laurell K. Hamilton, and just say that the woman has a way with dialogue. Try this tidbit on for size:

   “He laughed, and it raised goose-bumps on my arms. "Oh, ma petite, ma petite, you are precious."
   Just what I wanted to hear. "So how are you getting here?"
   "My private jet."
   Of course, he had a private jet. "When can you be here?"
   "I will be there as soon as I can, my impatient flower."
   "I prefer ma petite to flower.”

The character calling Anita, ma petite, is Jean-Claude. He's the master of the Circus of the Damned and an all around nice guy if not a bit over-sexed. But then again if you look like Jean-Claude, sex is what you do because only the blind don't see you as beautiful.

Reeve CarneyMy choice to play Jean-Claude is actor Reeve Carney (pictured at right). I first noticed him in the role of Dorian Grey in Showtime's Penny Dreadful (which was pretty darn amazing) series. I think he'd be perfect to play the seductive French vampire. That, and he's obviously an awesome performer, having come from Bono's Spiderman (the Broadway musical) in which he starred as Peter Parker (and he also looked really good in the suit). Plus Reeve Carney plays the guitar, and that right there should nail him for the role.

Okay, so who would I have star as Asher? That was the next question one of the ladies asked me (and for the record they totally agreed that Reeve Carney was perfect for Jean-Claude). Asher I think would best be played by actor Tom Hiddleston (with his hair dyed blond). To give you some background on Asher, he's fantastically handsome, having been selected because of his beauty by Belle Morte, the vampire that made him. Anita describes his hair as the color of metallic gold and his eyes as the pale blue of a Siberian Husky. He's also the lover of Jean-Claude (part-time because Anita is also both of these guy's lover) and it'd just be really hot to see that much beauty naked all on screen at the same time. Yeah, Anita and her partners are all polyamorous (it may have something to do with the fact that Laurell is polyamorous). If this menage ever happens, I'll probably say that "polyamory is a national treasure" in the same laughing bravado as I said, "Michael Bay is a national treasure" after I watched Transformers: Edge of Extinction and witnessed the "Daisy Dukes" that were so short you could see the pockets, the camera angles from between the thighs of the main female eye-candy, and the priceless dialogue: "My warrant is mah face!!!" Michael Bay film school never ceases to entertain.

Michelle RodriguezAnd then there's the case for Anita herself. Anita is the story here. She's a heroine that totes a coffee cup that says "Piss me off and face the consequences" and when she lived in her apartment, had a gun packed with glazer rounds so that when she shot at vampires, the bullets wouldn't go through the drywall to kill her neighbors. Who would be a perfect Anita Blake? I think Michelle Rodriguez would make a great Anita Blake. Most famous for action movies like the Fast and the Furious storyline, I think she'd be great as an ass-kicking necromancer that raises the dead and screws both vampires and werewolves.

So here's a question for you fans of Anita out there: Who would you cast as Jean-Claude, Anita Blake, and Asher? And what the hell...let's go ahead and cast the minor characters like Jason, Nathaniel, Edward, and Richard. Hopefully some of you have read Hamilton and can quid pro quo with me on this topic.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on September 10, 2014 06:07
No comments have been added yet.