When it's time to take the car keys.
Safety Tips for Dementia Caregivers
When is it time to take away the car keys?
Driving is a form of independence that many people will not give up easily, regardless of how many times they may have gotten lost or how many fender-bender accidents may have occurred. However, letting an impaired person drive is dangerous, not only to the person with AD, but to everyone else on the road. Taking the keys or the driver’s license from your memory impaired parent or spouse may be a very difficult and heartbreaking task, but in the long run, you will be saving lives.
In the early stages of AD, patients develop increasing difficulty understanding visual images and spatial relationships. People with dementia may have trouble reading, determining color or contrast, or judging distance. All of these issues can present a big problem if your loved one is still driving.
It is Time to Take the Keys When a Person
• Gets lost or disoriented in familiar places.
• Gets frequent traffic tickets and/or has fender bender accidents.
• Drifts in and out of lanes frequently.
• Appears not to see and/or ignores stop signs and traffic signals.
• Gets easily confused in traffic.
• Accelerates or brakes suddenly without reason.
Losing driving privileges can be traumatic, as it severely limits a person’s independent ability to go to church, the store, the senior center, or a friend’s house for some company. More often than not, the patient will not easily agree to give up driving privileges, at least not without an argument.
When this happens, there are additional ways to take the keys legally, by invoking the counsel of others. This is one obstacle where your family physician can help. As a nurse, I have witnessed this struggle many times. Family members of our patients have often asked us, most times in secret, to address the issue at the patient’s regularly scheduled appointment. The American Medical Association (AMA) encourages physicians to offer assistance to caregivers and family members regarding mental or physical conditions, side effects of medications, and other concerns they may have if their loved one is still driving. The AMA also recommends that physicians counsel their patient one on one and even ask for and accept the car keys from their memory-impaired patients. We have done this numerous times in our practice. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn’t. Mature adults often accept recommendations from their physicians when they wouldn’t accept the same recommendation from a family member. An alternative to actually taking the keys from the patient directly, is for the physician to write a medical/cognitive status report which may give you more credibility to the caregiver when trying to convince your loved one that it is not safe for them to drive. The caregiver can take the status report to your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles and any further action or decision regarding your loved one’s driving privileges is determined by the BMV inspectors.
You can also enlist the help of your local police department. Police officers are well aware of these situations and are frequently called to intervene when memory- impaired family members who refuse to give up the car keys. It may be frustrating to the caregiver, but when someone of authority tells the patient what to do, they will comply far more readily than they would with a request from a child or spouse.
The most effective way for a caregiver to handle this difficult situation is to candidly talk with your loved one, trying to get them to voluntarily agree that driving right now is not in their best interest. Your request to take the keys should be based on care and concern for the patient’s safety. Be honest with them and tell them your concerns, such as their memory difficulties, or limited physical ability can make it difficult for them to be safe on the roads. Include alternative solutions regarding transportation, such as riding with family members or using specialized transit minibuses. Let them know that your intention isn’t to take away their freedom. Your intention is to keep them safe. If the person voluntarily surrenders the keys, their driver's license can be exchanged for an identification card at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), a document that can be used for cashing checks, travel, and other identification purposes.
Maria V CilettiI Have to Leave You Now: A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Alzheimer's Disease
When is it time to take away the car keys?
Driving is a form of independence that many people will not give up easily, regardless of how many times they may have gotten lost or how many fender-bender accidents may have occurred. However, letting an impaired person drive is dangerous, not only to the person with AD, but to everyone else on the road. Taking the keys or the driver’s license from your memory impaired parent or spouse may be a very difficult and heartbreaking task, but in the long run, you will be saving lives.
In the early stages of AD, patients develop increasing difficulty understanding visual images and spatial relationships. People with dementia may have trouble reading, determining color or contrast, or judging distance. All of these issues can present a big problem if your loved one is still driving.
It is Time to Take the Keys When a Person
• Gets lost or disoriented in familiar places.
• Gets frequent traffic tickets and/or has fender bender accidents.
• Drifts in and out of lanes frequently.
• Appears not to see and/or ignores stop signs and traffic signals.
• Gets easily confused in traffic.
• Accelerates or brakes suddenly without reason.
Losing driving privileges can be traumatic, as it severely limits a person’s independent ability to go to church, the store, the senior center, or a friend’s house for some company. More often than not, the patient will not easily agree to give up driving privileges, at least not without an argument.
When this happens, there are additional ways to take the keys legally, by invoking the counsel of others. This is one obstacle where your family physician can help. As a nurse, I have witnessed this struggle many times. Family members of our patients have often asked us, most times in secret, to address the issue at the patient’s regularly scheduled appointment. The American Medical Association (AMA) encourages physicians to offer assistance to caregivers and family members regarding mental or physical conditions, side effects of medications, and other concerns they may have if their loved one is still driving. The AMA also recommends that physicians counsel their patient one on one and even ask for and accept the car keys from their memory-impaired patients. We have done this numerous times in our practice. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn’t. Mature adults often accept recommendations from their physicians when they wouldn’t accept the same recommendation from a family member. An alternative to actually taking the keys from the patient directly, is for the physician to write a medical/cognitive status report which may give you more credibility to the caregiver when trying to convince your loved one that it is not safe for them to drive. The caregiver can take the status report to your local Bureau of Motor Vehicles and any further action or decision regarding your loved one’s driving privileges is determined by the BMV inspectors.
You can also enlist the help of your local police department. Police officers are well aware of these situations and are frequently called to intervene when memory- impaired family members who refuse to give up the car keys. It may be frustrating to the caregiver, but when someone of authority tells the patient what to do, they will comply far more readily than they would with a request from a child or spouse.
The most effective way for a caregiver to handle this difficult situation is to candidly talk with your loved one, trying to get them to voluntarily agree that driving right now is not in their best interest. Your request to take the keys should be based on care and concern for the patient’s safety. Be honest with them and tell them your concerns, such as their memory difficulties, or limited physical ability can make it difficult for them to be safe on the roads. Include alternative solutions regarding transportation, such as riding with family members or using specialized transit minibuses. Let them know that your intention isn’t to take away their freedom. Your intention is to keep them safe. If the person voluntarily surrenders the keys, their driver's license can be exchanged for an identification card at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), a document that can be used for cashing checks, travel, and other identification purposes.
Maria V CilettiI Have to Leave You Now: A Survival Guide for Caregivers of Loved Ones with Alzheimer's Disease
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