Just call me Prude

Dear Rabbi Brody,

I just broke up with my boyfriend and one of the reasons that I did so was because I found out that he enjoys an extremely weird and disgusting type of pornography. I just felt defiled and dirty thinking that I was associated with someone who enjoyed those kinds of things. My friends tell me that it is normal for men to look at pornography and that they can't help it and that I was being a prude. What are the Jewish responses to the subject of pornography and why men tend to be attracted to it much more than women?

Thank you very much, Myra in Houston

Dear Myra,

I'm really happy that you broke up with the porno fiend...

You are a sensitive, very special person who deserves much better. I'm positive that the old boyfriend didn't respect you. Porno hounds are only concerned with their animal appetites, and are therefore incapable of truly relating to another person in a relationship. As a rule, their prime concern is getting what they can. Giving comes from the holy side of the spiritual spectrum, while taking comes from the impure, dark side. Don't be upset, The Almighty will be sending you someone more deserving of you.

In college, people used to call me "jock", "straight", or "square" because I wouldn't touch grass and drugs, when most of the campus was high all the time. What do you care if people call you a prude? Must your body be a public domain or your mouth speak filthy language so that people will say you're "in"? You don't need their garbage. Keep yourself on a moral pedestal because you are a king's daughter and not a cellar chambermaid.

Woman are on a naturally higher spiritual level than men. That's why they are not required to learn Torah. Unless a woman has sorely damaged her spiritual self, she won't be turned on by porno; the opposite, she'll be disgusted like you were.

It is very normal for men devoid of any spiritual cognizance or development to be blue-movie fans and porno junkies. The Almighty gave us a sexual urge for two good reasons: One, to procreate; and two, to bring happiness to our partner in life. Sex, like nuclear energy or anything else in G-d's universe, is a power that may be used for good or for evil. While some use sex to raise a family and to bring peace and happiness to their marriage, others use it to exploit other people, to make money, and to express their basest of urges. Such humans are spiritually inferior to animals; the vast majority of bird, animal, and insect species use their sexual drive only to reproduce.

The Almighty gave us the Torah to raise us above our basic animal selves. One who observes the Torah achieves a spiritual level beyond that of an angel. Judaism absolutely forbids porno in any way, shape, or form. The human body is tantamount to a sanctuary, and must be respected accordingly. Specifically, the Torah forbids looking at clothed women for the sake of sexual enjoyment; looking at porno pictures (which transgress several other prohibitions) is much more serious. A porno fiend destroys his own soul, and creates a tremendous barrier between himself and G-d's divine light. Once a person becomes severed from G-d, heaven forbid, there's no limit to his potential for spiritual and emotional corruption. For example, a porno hound will lie and steal - sometimes even kill - to satisfy his appetites.

Now, Myra, people will be calling me a prude. That's OK; PRUDE stands for Proud Respectable Undaunted Dedicated Enemy of ignorance. Blessings always, LB