My judgement on Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers just died, and we should honor the dead, because we're all going to die, sent off to an unknown future, but I can't help but think she's really gotten away with something here, and what's worse is that she'd admit it, but in her death we can't think bad thoughts, only good ones. To be honest, I have no hard feelings towards Joan Rivers, having never known her, and used to like it when she sat in for 'Johnny' and thought she was pretty funny. Josh Mills of FB lore was right to say that her lead-line, 'Can we talk?' was equal to Rodney Dangerfield's, "I don't get no respect," and for anyone to do anything memorable on this earth that brought people closer together is a miracle, and Joan Rivers made this clear, but Joan Rivers was a bitch. It's weird that I, or anyone, remembers her fondly. She advanced women comedians but at a high price, because she was simultaneously every bad stereotype of what it was to be a woman - catty, bitchy, and superficial - and what's worse is I think she'd admit this, and just sort of chose to revel in it, rather than change her behavior, though I didn't know her in the least. I'm not saying to piss on her grave, or to hope she's in Hell, because I don't think humans have much of a say in that anyway, and this is a soothing thought since I've often felt guilty for judging people. I'm not the ultimate judge, but Joan Rivers was everything that Marlo Thomas taught me not to be, and in this way I guess she was a rebel, but in the same way that a conservative politician is that bucks the liberal trends of the day, in favor of the more base nature of being human - a desire for wealth, fame, and power at any cost, and celebrating these ideals in an almost Ayn Rand like way. Does that make Joan Rivers a tyrant? No, because she didn't lead a Country or put anyone to death, though I'm sure she hurt a million peoples feelings without thinking twice about it, and just sort of capitalized on her bitch personae.

I have guilt saying these things because I grew up in Hollywood and have a celebrity gossip hound in me too, not to mention a Mother that was very much like a Joan Rivers of the art world, without the humor, or fame, but she exuded a similar power. To hate anyone is sort of like spitting in your face, so it's easier to love Joan Rivers and remember her for being funny, back in the Seventies, when she looked like a real person, before taking on that strange deformed mask of a face, crafted by years of plastic surgery, exposing her inner self. She was a first wave feminist and in that way dovetailed into "Free to be You and Me," but she was no Marlo Thomas. Like Hillary Clinton, who is 14 years older than Joan, she did it by being a bitch, and I find this a troubling strain in the womens rights movement. I'm not a woman and I do realize that it takes busting some balls to break into a world that say's you are a second class citizen, but when I think of Joan Rivers, I can't help but think she became worse than her oppressors, but got excused for it because she's a woman, and this pisses me off. I'm sorry but there's no good that comes out of being a gossip hound, because words do hurt.

I read about Joan Rivers's funeral that she implicitly gave directions for, and no offense but that alone reeks of a 'control freak.' She said she didn't want a rabbi 'babbling on for hours,' or something like that, and wanted to be remembered in the same way that she remembered others, with "a big showbiz affair." I guess this is fine, but couldn't she have had that for the wake, or the get-together after the funeral, and be remembered before God in a way that didn't compromise everyone that wanted to eulogize her by partaking in a moment of infamy before God; I read that the mourners looked to the Rabbi for approbation before they spoke because they felt odd 'gossip hounding' in a place of worship. It's one thing to be Godless but it's another to ask those that loved you, or cared about you, to take the same oath; it's almost like saying 'if you love me, then I'm going to bring you down with me, into a Godless state, so it's up to you,' but this just isn't fair for a funeral. Humans are very sensitive about the dead and we do our best to always speak well of them, unless they are an enemy of the State, like Hitler, so in essence she was asking her family and friends, to forsake an immutable spiritual truth, and essentially perjure themselves in front of God. To be honest, I'm really surprised the rabbi acceded to Ms. Joan's wishes, but that might say more about the state of American Judaism, circa 2014, than anything else.