A Magic Fate On This Date!

The cat was out and about when he heard a nut human shout, "It said No!" down in the dumps I go. I looked around the corner to see. The nut was on a magic 8 ball spree.

Need an answer now?
Don't have a cow.
It will come some how.
Magic 8 ball, wow!

Shake, shake, shake,
You're going to drown in a lake.
Damn, it is mean.
At least it keeps things clean.

Tomorrow you die!
Nope, I don't lie.
You are good and dead.
That is what I said.

You win the lottery this week!
Enough money to fill a creek.
Did you jump up and down?
Just kidding, now don't frown.

What was that?
Do I like your hat?
Nope, it is crap.
Sorry you silly chap.

Should I rob a bank?
Yes! You need gas in the tank.
You listened to me?
No wonder you are no longer free.

Should I date her?
Nope, she can't purr.
Wait! She was the one.
Oopsy, aren't I fun?

Will I get a raise?
Sit there and gaze.
Thinking, thinking, maybe.
Best you'll get out of me.

Shaking me twice?
Oh how nice.
Still maybe for you.
Did you expect something new?

Shake, shake, shake,
Don't you want to partake?
Ask me a question today,
I won't lead you astray.

Got any questions for the magic 8 ball? My, they are quite rude at their hall. They talk back to you. Now if you believe that to be true, you may just be a nut and have less brain cells than a mutt. The cat got a little crass, but that is alright to my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.