Phallic Friday - fallacies

So...as I've grown older, I've noticed how many fallacies I was 'taught' as a child. Not just the sweet Santa, tooth fairy things which sucked me in for years, but female body things that make me question why I was told the wrong things.

I know in science, sometimes making things understandable for the general public means that it's told simply, which makes things wrong if you delve too deeply... but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about things that I was told were what happened to women...and then later I found they were incorrect.

Like, when you're pregnant, you don't have a period. You know, that was the biggest attraction to me for getting pregnant. I hate periods and period pain and all the other rubbish that comes with it. Then when a girlfriend was pregnant, she told me the dreaded truth...ah, some women have periods all through pregnancy. Holy mother of God! That would have been me. I would have got pregnant to have 9 months period-free only to find that everyone lied about it! Thank goodness she told me first. Why on earth would anyone lie about that? Why would they tempt me so? It seems crazy.

There are a few other lies along the way - like losing your virginity doesn't hurt, that sex with the man you love is always wonderful, that sex up against a doorway is wrong, that passion is a sin, that anal sex is horrible - but now I come to the latest one I've stumbled across. That when your eggs run out, your periods end.

Now, maybe I over-simplified this message because when I learned about this, having the damn things end seemed a million year away. But I'm getting closer to the end of those million years and I need to know these things. And, oh my God, they don't just end. The end is worse than the start. The end is some stop-start, you have them, no you don't, thing that can last years! Years! And you only know you've finished with the damn things completely when you haven't had them for a year - yes, a year! That's after the stop-start of years.

Now, why didn't I know that at 13? I would have thought knowing that the end was as bad as the beginning would have crept into my mind and stayed there, instead I have this dream that one month you'll wake up and the eggs will be empty and everything turns off.

Seriously, in my past lives I've always been a man. This being a woman in this life is the pits! Next lifetime, please, let me be a man again. I've always missed the ability to pee without having to strip half naked, but I can live without that. It's this crap that a woman has to survive every damn month, that drives me insane - and the lies she's told to survive it!!

Yeah, sorry, it's THAT time of the month!