Self-Published Authors Interview Series: Ksenia Anske

Photo credit: Sarah. Katherine. Place As those of you who frequent this blog (or know me in real life) have gathered, I have a hero. An idol, if you will. And her name is......Ksenia Anske.

Even my mom knows who she is. I've been talking about Ksenia since last November, when I found her blog at right about the time I was considering pursuing writing seriously but feeling all sorts of doubt about it, and I read her posts and immediately found hope. 

I actually smiled today because I was transferring files from my old computer to my new, and stumbled on the beginning drafts of "Cruel," which is now published on Amazon. IT EXISTS. And it's such a surreal feeling to think about, not to mention the fact that I'm writing the second draft of a book right now (I've written an entire book? ME?!) and really enjoying the story. It doesn't seem like a lofty goal anymore, this whole "writing a book thing." And I can promise you that if you just keep chugging along at it like I did (albeit dragging my feet when I worked full-time, because I was so tired), it CAN HAPPEN.

There is no secret formula, no magic way. It's like losing weight; eat right and work out. Simple as that. Writing a book is the same (at least, it has been for me). Write every day and read every day. Don't make this already momentous task any harder on yourself.

So before I introduce the magnanimous and inspiring Ksenia Anske, I just want to say that I plan to share the first chapter of my steampunk fantasy this Saturday, with my tentative titles! Yes, titles! I can't even believe I'm there already. So without further ado, here she is, Ksenia Anske (who is legit famous since NEIL GAIMAN tweeted her yesterday. Yeah.):
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Want to support me as a writer? Donate! AC: I read in another interview you did that Lilith Bloom’s character in your novel, Rosehead, was modeled after you as a child: introverted and ostracized by other kids growing up. Do you think things in your childhood impacted your wanting to write? They certainly seem to have impacted your subject matter. Were there pleasant moments growing up, things you enjoyed doing?
KA: Yes, absolutely. As soon as I learned how to read, I think I was 4, I disappeared into alternate realities that were better than my childhood. Growing up in Soviet Russia, my days were filled with bizarre and macabre and circus-like and extravagant things, the things that form the fabric of my childhood, where violence mixes with extreme intelligence, neglect go step in step with exquisite meals, designer dresses, and dance classes. I enjoyed going to dance lessons, hence Lilith and her love for ballet dance. I loved running around on the streets with boys, as girls didn’t really like me for being cute and quiet and a magnet for boys because I wasn’t afraid of  spiders or yucky things. I remember one time I ate raspberry worms on a dare and I won. I loved stealing fruit and berries from people’s gardens as most of the time I was hungry. I loved biking around the city (my next book, Corners, will be about 4 kids on bikes). In all, I think I was a rascal and probably should’ve been born a boy. But reading definitely was my favorite pastime.

AC: What have been your best and worst writing experiences so far?
KA: Worst? Starting a book, or starting to write every day. For some reason, when I start working on a new project, I’m terrified of the silliest things. Like, I think I have forgotten how to write a book, or I think my writing is terrible, or I think nobody will read it, or I think something absurd like as soon as I start, my laptop will explode and all this effort will be for nothing. Actually, something similar happened to me once, when Word corrupted my file and I have lost 1 day’s worth of work. But I always power through this fear, because it’s all it is. Fear.
And the best thing that I have experienced is finishing a book. I get high on it, drugged. I float and feel all fuzzy and warm and accomplished and happy and giddy and I can’t stop smiling. Nothing compares with that feeling. It’s hard to describe it. Perhaps, if you think you have just eaten the most delicious cake on the planet, and you know that you won’t gain a single pound from it, and you recline in a pile of warm puppies that lick your face and there are pink fluffy clouds shimmering under your ceiling that are really cotton candy puffs and your mom baked you your favorite cookies and all the kangaroos of the world…but I’m getting carried away. It’s awesome. The feeling is awesome. That is all.

AC: Now I'm hungry! I’ve been wanting to discuss this with you for awhile, but felt it best to do in interview form. I’ve read on your blog that you received a lot of criticism, hate mail, and even death threats (correct me if I’m wrong) regarding giving your books away for free. That’s not even delving into the possible criticism you may’ve received in the forms of book reviews, mean people on Twitter, etc. What I would like to know, for my own personal knowledge and others who struggle with this, is how do you deal with the negativity? I’ve had one person give me a snide remark on Twitter and it ruined a considerable portion of my day! What do you tell yourself to let these things go? Any tips on how to handle the situation when it arises?
KA: Oh, this sounds worse than it is. I did receive criticism and hate mail and once someone wished me death on Twitter, but those instances were really rare and most of them I turned around into positive outcomes. Often in the very beginning some self-published writers would admonish me and chastise me on how I’m devaluing their work by giving my books away for free. And every time I simply try to give people love. Those who tell you these things don’t tell you them because they know you really well and truly believe what they mean, the project their own pain onto you because you’re shiny and visible. This happens to celebrities often. They need a hug and a kiss to feel better. Often the pain they have been carrying around is so strong, it might take a lot of love to make them relax and stop hating themselves so much (this is why they project their self-hate on others). I’ve been through so much horrible stuff in my life, that when I wanted to commit suicide, and then decided not to, after I went through 2 years of therapy and recovered, I stopped being afraid of negativity because I understood it for what it was. It’s just a cry for help, for love. People who are hurt the most are the ones spewing bitterness around themselves. Give them goodness. If they reject it, block them and forget about them and move on. They are not ready to receive help and there is nothing else you can do.

AC: Fantastic advice that I will definitely focus on for the future. I know that you are wrapping up Irkadura and preparing to begin your fourth novel, Corners. Forgive me if this information is on your site, but could you tell us a bit about how the idea came to you, and what you’re most excited about with it?
KA: Oh yes, I have yet to set up a page for Corners on my site! Ah! So many things to do. I don’t specifically remember the very moment I had the idea for it, like I do with Rosehead, but I think it happened one day when I had a particularly hard day writing Irkadura and out of nowhere a whole scene popped into my head, inspired by my time as an elementary student, when after school I would hang out with 3 boys, my friends, and we would all race on bikes along the streets of Moscow. Biking was one of my escapes from harsh realities of life, and also a therapy of some sort, so I wanted to write about the adventure of taking off and ending up in different worlds. At the same time I thought how I missed all the books I have read as a kid and how some kids books I am only reading now, since they weren’t translated into Russian at the time I was growing up. I am reading them now and I wanted to re-experience this joy of jumping from one book to another. The two concepts merged, and that is how I have decided to write a book where the corners of the world could be turned like page corners of a book and have 4 kids drop into 30 books, or something like that.

AC: I typically ask my self-publishing interviewees why they decided to go this route, but know from your blog that you are too impatient to have waited. JSo I’ll ask this instead; out of all you’ve learned in the past two years since writing full-time, are there one or two things you really wish you’d known from the beginning? Something other authors can utilize as we embark on this terrifyingly wonderful journey?
KA: Yes, I wish I trusted myself more. I was so afraid to do things I felt were right in my gut, that I have made many mistakes which I could’ve avoided. But then again, you have to break your own forehead to learn, right?

AC: A quick anecdote from my past; I don’t recall the exact day I stumbled upon your site, but it was November of last year and I’d decided to pick up a half-finished novel and complete it for NaNoWriMo. I felt down about it, dejected, and the first post I read from your website was “Why 1st Drafts DON’T SUCK,” in it explaining that they actually do suck and that that’s okay. It literally changed my life, right then and there. I was new to writing, and to this concept. I thought to be a good writer, everything was supposed to be glorious prose. That month was when I decided to really pursue creative writing as more than just a random dabbling every so often—mainly because of that project, and you. What I’m trying to say in a round-about, slightly stalker-ish manner is that you really have become a beacon of hope for writers, mainly through social media. Aside from your background in social media (Lilipip!) and candid nature, why do you think you’ve gained such a following online? Any tips for other writers to also increase their social media reach, or do you even think it’s that important?
KA: Oh, wow, thank you! You’re making me tear up here a little. I will tell you what I tell everyone, as I get asked this very often. Be yourself and give. Just give and give and give and don’t ask for anything in return, and one day it will return to you ten-fold.

AC: Would you be willing to tell us something about yourself that we don’t know? Your DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET. Or maybe a hobby you enjoy, when you’re not reading or writing. J
KA: Let’s see. This will disappoint so many readers, I’m sure. I don’t really drink alcohol. I do tweet about drinking vodka all the time, but it’s just a joke, because when I came to US, about 16 years ago, as soon as someone found out I was Russian, they would talk about how we have winter year around and snow and drink vodka. It always got me pissed off, this image of Russians, so I played along, and I told people that I grew up eating from wooden plates with wooden spoons, playing in the snow on the streets with wild bears, drinking vodka since I could hold the bottle in my hands. It was so much fun watching people’s faces, especially in the first few moments, before they understood that I’m making fun of them. So, sorry! I only drink coffee, and tea, and water. And, well, write and read books. J

AC: And finally, one of my goals as a writer and person with a “media platform” is to spread awareness about worthy charities and help those who need it. What organization would you like to select, so that I can add it to my charity page and raise awareness?
KA: Rainn.org - Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network.

Thank you Ksenia for giving a little writer like me your time for this interview! I can't wait to see the other amazing things you will surely do.

Until next time, keep writing and keep dreaming!
Ksenia Anske was born in Moscow, Russia, and came to US in 1998 not knowing English, having studied architecture and not dreaming that one day she'd be writing.  SIREN SUICIDES , an urban fantasy set in Seattle, is her first novel. She lives in Seattle with her boyfriend and their combined three kids in a house that they like to call The Loony Bin.
Before quitting her career in 2012 to write full time, an entrepreneur and social media marketer by trade, Ksenia helped clients establish social media presence as a consultant and ran her start-up  Lilipip  for 5 years, a company that created animated explanation videos. Ksenia's been named one of the  100 Top Women in Seattle Tech  and  Geek of the Week of Seattle PI .
Check out her website here!