When the words won’t come…

What do you do when the words won’t come?

I write about it.

How empty the fingers that provide so much depth most days. Now they feel unfair. Unfinished. Pointless? Heavy in their hollowness. Something but mostly nothing.

It’s like how I felt when I refused to date. How wasteful I felt in my twenties. But how could I date after everything I’d been through? What do you do when the life you want won’t come? You wait longer. Or you throw yourself out there and push through the hard bits, knowing even more pain might find you.

Fear binds both to me. When the words won’t come, I’m scared my career is over before it’s started. When I was single, I was scared I’d never find someone to share this journey with. It’s as easy as realizing I couldn’t get past the problem without living through the fear. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have my soul mate.

Now? I write anyway. Because, if I don’t, I’m letting fear beat my dream.