Please fire me. I’ve avoided Facebook for years because I don’t trust my family not to embarrass me. My job just forced me to get a Facebook account under my own name as part of our social media push. Within three days, my cousin found me. Within a week, I was being tagged in drunken photos I wasn’t even involved in, and things were being posted on my wall that my gynecologist would be uncomfortable with. My manager just gave me a warning about representing the company and learning to use social media responsibly. I’ve just finished blocking all my family and Googling how to divorce blood relatives.