Ice Bucket Challenge - A Non-Cannon Devi Morris Short (Shot?)
The entire crew of the Glorious Fool, minus one, huddled around the table in the middle of the lounge, talking in hushed voices. Down the stairs in the cargo bay, their victim sat on the floor with her armor spread out around her, humming a Paradoxian marching song as she lovingly inspected each piece, completely unaware of gathering taking place behind her, or the bucket of slushy ice water at their feet.
"I'm not going to do it," Rupert said, crossing his arms firmly over his chest.
"What are you afraid of?" Basil squawked. "You're an unkillable alien super solider! She's not even wearing armor."
Rupert cocked an eyebrow. "You think that will slow her down?"
We should make Nova do it, Hyrek typed, holding his handset out so they could all read. She won't hurt Nova.
"Oh no," Nova said, shaking her pale head. "No matter how good the cause, I could never disrupt Deviana's harmony like that."
Hyrek heaved a long, raspy sigh. I thought this exercise was about improving people's lives, but it seems it's going to end one of ours if we go through with it.
"Wait, isn't she supposed to dump it over her own head?" Mabel asked, tapping the condensation-beaded bucket with her toe. "Not that I object to dousing her, but we just got the hull fixed."
Rupert shook his head. "I asked her about it earlier, but she said dumping a bucket of ice water over your head for charity was, and I quote, 'a sissy Terran version of the real Ice Bucket challenge from Paradox where they throw you naked into the northern sea and make you swim for it.'" He frowned. "I'm not actually sure how that helps charity, but I think there's betting involved."
"Backing out is not an option," Caldswell said, reaching down to pick up the bucket. "We already agreed. One way or another, this bucket's going over her head. So who's it gonna be?"
His crew all looked at their feet, and the captain sighed. "Fine. I'll do it."
"You're a brave man, sir," Rupert said.
The captain shook head. Honestly, he'd rather bait a bear than Devi Morris, armor or no, but the author had already made promises, so Caldswell hefted the bucket in his hand and started down the cargo bay stairs to do what must be done.
By the time he reached the bottom, Devi had stopped working. "You're a lot less sneaky than Rupert," she drawled, her hand drifting toward her gun.
"Wasn't trying to sneak," Caldswell said, stopping behind her. "Hands off the gun, Morris. You know we gotta do this. ALS is a terrible degenerative disease that's going to keep making innocent people's lives hell until we find a cure. If turning you into an ice cube can convince even a few people to donate to the fight to make a universe with ALS, then I'm prepared to dump the ship's entire water supply over your skull."
Devi set her jaw stubbornly--its permanent position, so far as Caldswell could tell--but she let go of the gun. "You really think this'll help people?" she asked, standing up.
He nodded, and she heaved an enormous sigh. "Fine, do your worst. Just give me a sec to put up the sensitive electronics."
Caldswell stepped back to give her space as she swept up all the pieces of her armor and refitted them back into their case. When cargobay floor was clean, she moved over to the drain and fixed him with her killing stare.
"On three," Caldswell said, raising the bucket over her head. "One....two...."
He dumped it.
"Holy shit!" Devi screamed as the torrent of icy, slushy, one-degree-from-frozen water poured over her head and down her back. "What happened to three?!"
"Quicker this way," he said, trying his best not to laugh as she danced around, whipping her soaked hair back and forth in a vain attempt to knock out all the pieces of ice.
"Did you put salt in this to make it colder?"
"Among other things," Caldswell said. "Too cold for you?"
She bared her teeth at him and whirled around, stomping toward the stairs. Rupert was waiting at the top with a towel, which she snatched it out of his hand. "Did you know he was going to do that?"
"It's for a very good cause," Rupert said, but Devi was already storming away toward the showers.
"Don't you want to call anyone else out?' Caldswell yelled after her.
Devi's reply was long, profane, and mostly in King's Tongue, but it roughly translated down to "Just pay them the (string of expletives) money."
Should we tell her we already donated? Hyrek typed.
"And miss this?" Caldswell said, grinning wide. "Not for anything."
His crew didn't seem to know what to make of that, but being a captain meant never having to explain yourself, so he just pointed them toward the mops and ordered them to clean up his cargo bay.
And thus I participate in a fad for a good cause! Thank you (I think) to author Sandy Williams who had her own badass lady McKenzie Lewis take the Ice Bucket Challenge and call out Devi Morris to do the same. Honestly, I mostly did it because I wanted to dump ice on Devi's head, but it really is a good cause that's been struggling in obscurity for a while now. I hope you'll considering pitching in a few dollars (or a few ice cubes), if not for a cure, then at least to keep the icy insanity rolling a little longer!
Also Devi wants you to know she totally would have dumped that bucket over her own head like a stone cold boss if her author hadn't wanted to make the others do it for comedic effect.
Thanks for reading!
-Rachel
"I'm not going to do it," Rupert said, crossing his arms firmly over his chest.
"What are you afraid of?" Basil squawked. "You're an unkillable alien super solider! She's not even wearing armor."
Rupert cocked an eyebrow. "You think that will slow her down?"
We should make Nova do it, Hyrek typed, holding his handset out so they could all read. She won't hurt Nova.
"Oh no," Nova said, shaking her pale head. "No matter how good the cause, I could never disrupt Deviana's harmony like that."
Hyrek heaved a long, raspy sigh. I thought this exercise was about improving people's lives, but it seems it's going to end one of ours if we go through with it.
"Wait, isn't she supposed to dump it over her own head?" Mabel asked, tapping the condensation-beaded bucket with her toe. "Not that I object to dousing her, but we just got the hull fixed."
Rupert shook his head. "I asked her about it earlier, but she said dumping a bucket of ice water over your head for charity was, and I quote, 'a sissy Terran version of the real Ice Bucket challenge from Paradox where they throw you naked into the northern sea and make you swim for it.'" He frowned. "I'm not actually sure how that helps charity, but I think there's betting involved."
"Backing out is not an option," Caldswell said, reaching down to pick up the bucket. "We already agreed. One way or another, this bucket's going over her head. So who's it gonna be?"
His crew all looked at their feet, and the captain sighed. "Fine. I'll do it."
"You're a brave man, sir," Rupert said.
The captain shook head. Honestly, he'd rather bait a bear than Devi Morris, armor or no, but the author had already made promises, so Caldswell hefted the bucket in his hand and started down the cargo bay stairs to do what must be done.
By the time he reached the bottom, Devi had stopped working. "You're a lot less sneaky than Rupert," she drawled, her hand drifting toward her gun.
"Wasn't trying to sneak," Caldswell said, stopping behind her. "Hands off the gun, Morris. You know we gotta do this. ALS is a terrible degenerative disease that's going to keep making innocent people's lives hell until we find a cure. If turning you into an ice cube can convince even a few people to donate to the fight to make a universe with ALS, then I'm prepared to dump the ship's entire water supply over your skull."
Devi set her jaw stubbornly--its permanent position, so far as Caldswell could tell--but she let go of the gun. "You really think this'll help people?" she asked, standing up.
He nodded, and she heaved an enormous sigh. "Fine, do your worst. Just give me a sec to put up the sensitive electronics."
Caldswell stepped back to give her space as she swept up all the pieces of her armor and refitted them back into their case. When cargobay floor was clean, she moved over to the drain and fixed him with her killing stare.
"On three," Caldswell said, raising the bucket over her head. "One....two...."
He dumped it.
"Holy shit!" Devi screamed as the torrent of icy, slushy, one-degree-from-frozen water poured over her head and down her back. "What happened to three?!"
"Quicker this way," he said, trying his best not to laugh as she danced around, whipping her soaked hair back and forth in a vain attempt to knock out all the pieces of ice.
"Did you put salt in this to make it colder?"
"Among other things," Caldswell said. "Too cold for you?"
She bared her teeth at him and whirled around, stomping toward the stairs. Rupert was waiting at the top with a towel, which she snatched it out of his hand. "Did you know he was going to do that?"
"It's for a very good cause," Rupert said, but Devi was already storming away toward the showers.
"Don't you want to call anyone else out?' Caldswell yelled after her.
Devi's reply was long, profane, and mostly in King's Tongue, but it roughly translated down to "Just pay them the (string of expletives) money."
Should we tell her we already donated? Hyrek typed.
"And miss this?" Caldswell said, grinning wide. "Not for anything."
His crew didn't seem to know what to make of that, but being a captain meant never having to explain yourself, so he just pointed them toward the mops and ordered them to clean up his cargo bay.
And thus I participate in a fad for a good cause! Thank you (I think) to author Sandy Williams who had her own badass lady McKenzie Lewis take the Ice Bucket Challenge and call out Devi Morris to do the same. Honestly, I mostly did it because I wanted to dump ice on Devi's head, but it really is a good cause that's been struggling in obscurity for a while now. I hope you'll considering pitching in a few dollars (or a few ice cubes), if not for a cure, then at least to keep the icy insanity rolling a little longer!
Also Devi wants you to know she totally would have dumped that bucket over her own head like a stone cold boss if her author hadn't wanted to make the others do it for comedic effect.
Thanks for reading!
-Rachel
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