How To Design Your Very Own Host Club!
Slap up some mirrors, turn down the lights, stock up on Dom, and the cash will start rolling in, right? Uh, sorry, mate, but no. If you want to design a host club that makes women spend money like water, you betta have these:
CHANDELIERS. LOTS AND LOTS OF CHANDELIERS.
Too many chandeliers is just enough. (Club Zead)
Or if you just have one, make sure you label it so everyone knows it’s an EXPENSIVE one! (Club Dolce)
And why do we have to have so many chandeliers? Because the ur-club that started it all, back in the 70s, had so many chandeliers it basically WAS a chandelier.
This club is still open in Kabuki-cho! (愛田観光Club)
CHOOSE YOUR COLOR SCHEME. YOU WANT BLACK…OR WHITE?
Black, with lips… (Ava Club)
…or white, with artsy skulls? (Club DeZon)
Of course, black seems like a no-brainer in a club where, uh, things can and do get spilled, but consider this: if you go with white, you can spiff it all up with colored lights. (Club AnAn )
SPELL IT OUT, FOR CUSTOMERS WHO AREN’T QUITE WITH THE PROGRAM
Use English, so your non-English-speaking customers can blush and giggle over the Google Translate on their phones. (Candy Club)
Say it in pictures. Weird, subliminal pictures. (Club Platina)
THROW IN A BUNCH OF LEOPARD PRINT
The more leopards, the better.
Fake fur and leopard print-clad Ageha Gals are perfectly camouflaged at the Club Ageha.
If you can’t get yourself any leopards, bombard your customers with luxe patterns on every surface, even the ceiling, like they do at the Club Honey.
GOTTA HAVE SOME PRIVATE BOOTHS…
…so the free-spending customer enjoying a night with her favorite host can see, but not be seen. (Club Fate)
What goes on behind the red curtains? Whatever it is, I’ll have what she’s having! (Scandal Club)
…AND A VIP ROOM, FOR WHEN THEY’RE READY TO LEVEL UP FROM THE PRIVATE BOOTHS
It’s no coincidence that the portal to the VIP room is guarded by rows and rows of the kind of super-pricey booze you need to buy in order to even get a shot at taking your main squeeze in there for a nip. (I Need You Club)
DON’T FORGET THE LASERS
No host club would be complete without lasers. Lots of frickin’ lasers. Because when there’s a champagne call, the whole club’s gotta know it.
Lights! Music! Champagne chugging action! (Lupin Luxury Space)
Mirror ball of the new millennium: the LASER mirror ball. (Club Senorita)
Or step it up a notch, and go full-on laser light show. (Magic Club)
DISPLAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT ASPIRATIONAL BOOZE
“I’ll know I’ve made it when…
…I can afford something from the glowing pink $ Collection!” (Rey’s Club)
Or forget the mirrors, the video screens, the leopard print booths – decorate the walls with decanters of spirits so expensive they’ll make your eyes water. (Club Celes)
AND NOW, FOR THE TEST…
Chandelier? Check! Tower o’ glasses, waiting for the Dom? Check! VIP room complete with tinkling fountain? Check! Private room with tufted leather love seat? Check, check, check! (Club Romeo)
Or you can do it all in style! This is the club where I went to do the research for Fallen Angel.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. Photos all courtesy of the HostXHost website(Japanese only).
Published by Penguin/Intermix
Want to stick your toe into the Tokyo host club demimonde without getting on a plane? Fallen Angel takes you into host clubs, maid cafés and the secret lives of those who work and play in Kabuki-cho! Try the first few chapters here.
Fallen Angel readers often ask me what it’s really like to go to a host club. If you’re curious too, here’s a slide show and answers to the TOP TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOST CLUBS:
Why do women go to host clubs?
What kind of women go to host clubs?
What’s it like to visit a host club?
How expensive is it to go to a host club?
What is a host club “champagne call”?
Can foreigners get into a host club?
How do I find a good host club?
Why do hosts dress like that? Everything you always wanted to know about host fashion.
A Day In The Life: What’s it like to be a host?
