Synopsis: Bandit Loot (a Team Girl adventure)

Thanks to a windfall in their design business, Eile and Sunny decide to spend a weekend antique shopping in the mountain towns. At the last store in the last town they find a nude oil portrait of Medb hErenn from the late 1800's and buy it to surprise her. When they get it home they try to clean up the frame, but decide it isn't dirty, just crappy, so the remove the portrait to reframe it. As soon as they remove the paper backing, however, they find what looks like a hand-drawn map on the back of the canvas. They take a digital picture of it and enhance it in their computer. Sunny decides it's a treasure map, leading perhaps to a cache of secret Confederate gold, or a lost mine. Eile's skeptical, but there are two clues. One is the name of the starting location, a town called Querida. The other is a signature. The scrawl is hard to read, but it looks like July Bini. They email Medb, asking if either of those names rings a bell, then they clean up, have dinner, watch a movie, and go to bed.

In the morning, Eile goes to their office to start work on a design for a repeat client, when she discovers that Medb sent a reply. She explains that she knew a Jules Beni in Querida, which was a mountain mining town, back in 1882. She had several mining interests around the town, including shares in the Bassick mine, and ran a brothel, saloon, general store, and hotel. He spent a fair amount of money on her, wining and dining her as if courting her. He even commissioned a painting of her, which she had hung over the bar in the brothel. Before the year was out, however, he was killed in duel by a man named Jack Slade. She then asks why they asked. When Eile shows the email to Sunny, she gets excited and convinces Eile to let her have the computer for the morning. Eile goes off to buy design supplies, and when she returns she and Sunny make lunch.

Sunny explains that her Internet search reveals that Jules Beni was a notorious outlaw, who is suspected of robbing a shipment of gold and silver bars from the Bassick mine to Denver. He was supposedly helped by a gang of five men, one of whom was Jack Slade, a famous gunslinger. According to the legend, they ambushed the wagons when they passed through a narrow gorge. Beni and four men took $25,000 in bars into the mountains, the Sangre de Diablos, and hid it somewhere, while Slade met a contact who would fence the bars. Beni returned to Querida alone and met with Slade, receiving his share of the advance money. The local authorities couldn't prove anything, so Beni and Slade were never arrested, but they soon had a falling out, when Beni refused to reveal where he had hidden the bars. It came to a head when Slade challenged Beni to a duel, and shot and killed him inside the town brothel. After that, local vigilantes seized Slade while he was in a drunken stupor and hanged him for disturbing the peace. The loot has never been found, though many people have tried, but their fates seem to be to either return empty-handed, or not at all, leading people to claim that the loot is cursed.

Sunny gets treasure fever, and wants to find and claim the loot. Eile is intrigued enough to agree, but she won't go off half-cocked. They explain to Medb what they've discovered and their intention to track it down. She gets back to them almost immediately. She tells them that she remembers waking up one night and seeing Beni drawing on the back of the finished canvas before it was scheduled to be framed. She didn't consider that remarkable and largely forgot about it. She remembers the rumors circulating at that time, but she paid them no heed. She considers the matter unimportant, and has no objection to them searching for the loot. They next contact Sunny's parents. They approve of their venture and offer to finance it for a share of the proceeds. That gives them an idea. They contact Differel and Giovanna to solicit funds from them as well in exchange for shares, and both make donations. However, when they try to ask Shasta Taffeday if she would like to accompany them, they find out she's out of the country.

The next day, they head south along the Front Range, and Kitty comes with them. They stop in Pueblo for lunch and to shop for camping equipment and supplies, then head west, arriving in Querida late afternoon, in the shadow of Hardscrabble Mountain. A ghost town it may have been, but they discover it has been turned into a tourist trap. Four buildings are present, made to look old but in fact quite modern: the brothel (really a museum), saloon (really a bar and grill), general store (really a trading post), and hotel. The latter is more of a bed and breakfast. It's the off-season, so they have no trouble getting a room. They enquire about camping excursions into the mountains and find out there are a number of trails for three-days, five-days, a week, or ten-days. They can rent horses and/or pack mules at the "livery stable" behind the B&B. The proprietors suggest they take "The Lost Mine Trail", which retraces the route Jules Beni took to hide the loot he stole. It's a ten-day round trip, and they can spend extra time at the Caves to search for the loot. They are even given brochures that show a reproduction of their map.

They get the feeling that they are victims of a practical joke. They had told Medb about their planned trip shopping for antiques. Eile is pretty certain that somehow Medb planted the painting, hoping they would find it, and counting on their love for adventure to do the rest. Sunny is skeptical, but she cannot refute her spouse's reasoning, and it could explain why her parents and their friends were so eager to help them out. Disappointed, they have dinner at the saloon, then retire early. They discuss their options as they snuggle, and pretty much decide to just go home. They fall asleep scheming about how to get back at everyone.

In the morning, though, they have sex, which makes them feel better. During breakfast they decided, what the hell, as long as they're there, might as well take the trail and see what all the fuss is about. Besides, it'll serve everyone right if they spend all their money, to the last penny. They change into their traveling clothes, have their gear and supplies packed on two mules, saddle a couple of horses, and by mid-morning are on the trail, with Kitty lying on Eile's saddlebags. The trail leads into the mountains in the general direction of Mock Hill, though more north then east, and soon the views become spectacular. They take lots of pictures and video to show everyone back home. They reach the first "landmark" and find a prepared campground, with a brick fireplace stove, latrines, and a shower. There's even an open shed for the animals and a water tank. They unpack, take care of the animals, and set up camp, then Sunny cooks supper. Afterwards they sit outside the tent and watch the sky darken as the stars come out and meteors flash across the sky. They discuss that perhaps their family and friends aren't playing a joke on them; maybe this is their way of giving them a honeymoon, after the first one didn't work. Deciding not to waste any time, they get undressed and make love under the stars.

The second day is even better than the first, but about mid-day on the third day, Sunny notices a discrepancy. Their map and the trail brochure don't show it, but their trail takes a dogleg north at a junction with another, rougher, more natural path that heads due east. Sunny gets the feeling that that is the true path to the lost loot. Eile is still convinced the whole setup's a hoax, though she's no longer angry, so they keep on the trail, but when they arrive at the third landmark, it's immediately obvious that it's manmade, whereas the first two had been natural. To an ordinary tourist, suspending her disbelief while at the same time figuring that the story is really just a legend, that would not be unusual; it would all be part of the gag. But if the legend is true, then there's the possibility that the tourist trap and the kitschy legend and the trail are all meant to mislead people into believing there is no loot, and so keep them from looking for it. Regardless, there's only one way to find out. They stay the night at the campsite, but in the morning retrace their steps and get off at the old worn path, which points straight as an arrow towards Mock Hill. Eile doesn't want to get lost in the mountains, but they have a special satellite phone Mabuse gave them, and if the trail disappears or it gets dark before they find anything, they can always turn back. Sunny, however, has gotten her gold fever back, and she's confident they'll reach the third landmark before dark, since so far each previous has been at the end of a full day's travel. Dusk begins to approach, and they don't find anything; even Sunny is getting worried, and Eile keeps an eye out for a place to camp. Then they emerge into a clearing, and in the rock face of a cliff is the third landmark, this time a natural part of the rock. Even Sunny is flabbergasted, but when the shock wears off they feel elation: they're on the right track!

Of course, there's no campsite, but there is running water, a place to dig catholes to relieve themselves, dead wood for a fire, and sheltering trees for the animals. That makes sense; if Beni chose the landmarks to indicate the way to go, they would probably be in places where seekers could camp. Their map shows two major landmarks left, but also a few minor ones to indicate changes in direction. Since it's been over 130 years, the major ones may still be visible, but the minor ones may be erased or changed beyond recognition, but they agree that if they lose the trail they will turn back and try to pick it up again rather than push on. Kitty goes off into the woods, but just when the Girls get worried she comes back, licking her chops, and then she sits by the fire and grooms herself. They sit up past sundown, listening to the sounds of the forest. Several times Kitty comes alert, as if sensing something only she can detect, but after a few moments she relaxes. Finally they go to bed, but before they fall asleep they reminisce on how they haven't roughed it like this since their Dream-deaths destroyed their ability to reenter the Dreamlands.

The next day is more arduous, as the trail gets rougher, and twice they have to dismount to lead the animals over debris blocking the path, but they find all the places where they must change direction without too much difficulty. Despite the twists and turns, however, whenever there is a break in the trees they see Mock Hill ahead of them. The fourth landmark is a multistep waterfall and a pool. After taking care of the animals and setting up camp, they go for a swim and make love under the cascade. The next morning they follow outflow, and it takes them into a narrow gorge with very high walls. As they block off the sun, it gets dark and spooky; the Girls and the animals get nervous, but Kitty seems more curious than frightened. Further on the shadows seem to move, then they start to see silhouettes of people, indistinct but definitely anthropomorphic. The atmosphere gets gloomy, then obscures, as if by a mist, except there is no mist. The animals begin to react in fear, and the Girls must dismount to keep them under control.

Suddenly, Kitty runs off ahead of them. The Girls tie the train to a rock outcrop and chase after her. The gorge suddenly opens into a wide bowl containing what looks like a medicine wheel. Everything glows an eldritch blue. Kitty sits on the center mound of rocks, but looking away from them. As they approach her, figures form out of the glow: they look like Indians, but they are translucent and made of vapor, their clothes and tools looked decayed, and their skin is covered with rotting sores. At first Eile thinks they are just dark spirits, but then she realizes they are the result of disease. She figures the Indians died of a horrible plague.

When they reach Kitty, the spirits surround them. The Girls can feel their hatred towards them; it's so strong they feel terrified. Sunny identifies them as a kind of hungry ghost, except they hunger for revenge. Eile figures white men must have killed them by giving them some kind of sickness, and now they want to kill any white person that comes into their grasp. Sunny shouts that they had no part in that, that they hate people who would do that, but the ghosts do not seem to listen. One steps forward, as if to attack them, but it stops in front of kitty. Cat and ghost stare at each other for some time. Neither say a word, but the other ghosts begin chanting and dancing. As they do so, their sores heal and their bodies grow strong and healthy. The dancing and chanting becomes more energetic, then the ghosts lift off the ground and fly about. They merge into a whirlwind, which expands, and disappears into the rock walls. The chanting ends, but one ghost, the one who confronted kitty, remains. He smiles and fades away. The Girls go up to Kitty, who stares at them, and they see on the ground, where the ghost had stood, a totem necklace of silver, opal, and turquoise.

They go back to retrieve the horses and mules, and are relieved they are still there. They realize now what probably happened to the searchers who never came back. They have no idea why they were spared. They want to ask Kitty about it, but they know she would never respond. Sunny speculates that it's because Eile has Indian blood, but Eile doesn't believe it's enough to matter. In any event, Sunny puts on the necklace, and they make it out of the gorge with no further incident. The rest of the trip is uneventful, and by late afternoon they arrive at the last landmark at the base of Mock Hill. However, there is no place there to hide a loot of bars. The map seems to indicate that the loot is hidden in a cave somewhere up the slope, but the only clue to its location is a rhyme:

"Hen's teeth and horse's toes / Lead the way to silver and gold."

It makes no sense, but they are too tired to think about it, so they take care of the animals, set up camp, and have supper. Afterwards they sit for a time by the fire, singing and drinking, and after a while it almost seems as if they can hear from far off drumming and chanting. They dance to the beat around the fire, wordlessly singing the tune, and Sunny swears she can feel the presence of the ghosts around them, though they don't see anything. Finally they realize the drumming and chanting has stopped, and just chalk it up to being tipsy. They go to bed and make love before falling asleep.

In the morning they are awakened by the sound of helicopters overhead. Thinking that Medb has come to visit them, they get dressed and follow the noise downslope to a clearing, but from the edge of the woods they see a dozen armed men get out, accompanied by Marseilles Sheraton. They race back to their camp and grab their guns, blankets, canteens, and travel food, and head upslope, looking for a hiding place. They find the caves, and one looks down on their camp. Through binoculars they see Sheraton and the men enter the camp. The celebutante pans a device around the area as the men conduct a search, and she goes to one of the saddles to remove something small. The Girls realize she must have somehow found out about their expedition and planted a homing device. Obviously she wants the loot for herself, and since she wants the two of them dead, if she catches them they will just become another couple of searchers who do not come back. Even if Medb comes looking for them, she might never find their bodies. Their only hope is to put in a call to Medb to alert her -- and Eile curses their stupidity for leaving the satellite phone behind!

Meanwhile, Sheraton has her Abyssinian cat partner, and it figures out where they went. It heads upslope, with Sheraton and 2/3's of the men following. The Girls break cover and start searching for a cave to hide in, when they pass a tree. It grew up crooked, with two folds of bark sticking out that look like a bird's beak. Someone had jammed round stones between the folds, and at first glance it looks like a grinning hen! Above them is a group of cave mouths atop a steep but rugged cliff; to reach them they must expose themselves, but it's the only way up, and if they make it they can hold off their pursuers indefinitely. They start climbing, and after a short while they hear ricochets as bullets bounce off the rock face followed by rifle shots. They're not out of range, but they are too far to get a good aim. After half a dozen shots that start coming too close, they barely hear Sheraton shouting that she wants them alive.

They reach the top of the cliff and assess the situation. They gather large stones and big pieces of dead wood, and place them behind a boulder they can use for cover. They will use their guns only as a last resort, since they only have 8 round apiece. As they collect what they can, Eile notices a rock formation that looks like the bones of a horse's leg, except each has three toes. It's right below a cave mouth that looks barely big enough to crawl through. Before she can alert Sunny, however, she hears Sheraton shouting up at them. The Girls go back to the cliff, and Kittle shows herself. Sheraton tries to get them to come down, promising to let them go. All they want is the loot. When Eile doubts her word, she responds that she's never lied to them. Just as they can trust her word when she told them what she would do to them if she ever caught them, they can trust her word now. One of the men step forward; he introduces himself as Wendell Beni, the great-great-grandson of Jules Beni. He argues that the loot is rightfully his; any statute of limitations would be up by now, and he has inherited it from his ancestor. However, if they know where it is, he will share it with them, a 70-30 split. When they ask about Sheraton, she replies that she had no interest in a fool's errand, so she's working for a flat fee, and she's already been paid.

The Girls discuss it between themselves. They're only interest was to satisfy their curiosity, and maybe get some publicity; they would welcome the money, but they knew they couldn't take it all out by themselves, and once they alerted the authorities that best they could hope for would be something like a 10% reward. So Beni's offer sounds good, and they can always tell Medb afterwards and let her deal with him. Besides, Sheraton is right; they're outnumbered, outgunned, and their food and water will only last a few days at most. Yes of course, he could try to double-cross them, but they do believe Sheraton will keep her word, and she wants to kill them herself so badly that she won't let anyone else do it.

But Eile asks for time to think about it, much to Sunny's surprise. The man wants to know how long, but Eile can see from Sheraton's expression that she knows they're up to something. She demands an immediate answer; Eile replies by throwing a rock at her. She and the men get under cover while the Girls duck behind the boulder. The men start shooting, but sporadically, as if trying to keep them pinned down. When Sunny asks what's going on, Eile reminds her they don't know where the loot is. She wanted time to find it before agreeing, but Sheraton knows them too well, and threw a monkey wrench into her plan. She has an idea where it might be, but they can't now check it out. They also need an alternative plan.

Kitty warns them, and they see four men climbing the cliff face. They break cover, hoping they won't shoot them down, and hurl rocks down on the men. Shots come very close, but they are too easy a pair of targets not to miss, and they take advantage of that. Two men get knocked off while the other two retreat, one falling and injuring himself. The Girls get back under cover and Sunny suggests she try to get back to camp to retrieve the satellite phone while Eile keeps them busy. Eile reluctantly agrees, and Kitty goes with her. Eile throws rocks and pieces of wood, and twice more has to fend off climbers, but at one point she notices the Abyssinian retreating. Unfortunately, she can't do anything about it.

Sunny finds a way down the slope with Kitty's help, and she leads her back to the camp. The four men left behind found the bottle of whiskey and pass it around, standing with their backs to the tent. Sunny manages to sneak inside, but as she come out with the phone, the Abyssinian ambushes her, alerting the men. The cat keeps her trapped and the men catch her.

Eile gets concerned when she sees the Abyssinian return, and when Sheraton orders the men to lie low, and her fears are confirmed when the four men left at the camp appear with Sunny. One gives Sheraton the satellite phone, and she throws it into a rocky ravine. She then demands that Eile surrender, or she'll kill Sunny. Eile calls her bluff, and Sheraton points a shotgun at her head. Eile breaks cover and points her gun at Sheraton, creating a standoff. The men aim at Eile, and Sheraton refuses to back down. Eile realizes she's willing to die if she can take both them with her. The Abyssinian appears on the boulder, ready to jump on her, but Kitty confronts it, creating another standoff. Eile talks to Beni, telling him if Sheraton lets Sunny go, she'll surrender and show him where the loot is; otherwise, she and Sunny will be dead and he'll never get his hands on it. Beni agrees, and holds a gun on Sheraton as he takes away her shotgun, but he points the gun at Sunny until Eile empties her pistol and tosses it down.

The men climb up with Sheraton, but Beni puts her with Eile and Sunny. He states that he's disappointed she hadn't agreed to a percentage, but the loot will more than cover for the loss. Eile takes them to the cave, and Beni orders her, Sunny, and Marseilles to go inside. The tunnel is narrow, but the three of them manage to make it through. The only obstacle is a big rattlesnake, but Kitty and the Abyssinian kill it. Then the tunnel opens into a large chamber. In the back are dozens of rattlesnakes, seeking shelter from the heat of the day, but in the foreground are a dozen canvas sacks. They open one, and find it filled with a dozen or so gold and silver bars. Eile crawls back to get a rope, and one by one they tie a bag to the rope for the men to pull out, then one of them crawls back to retrieve it. It takes the rest of the day, but by evening they have all the bags removed. Before the ladies can crawl out, however, Beni has the entrance covered, trapping them.

Fortunately, Kitty and the Abyssinian find a way out: another tunnel that leads to an opening upslope. The three ladies watch as the men carry the bags down to the helicopter. The Girls would rather just let them leave, then go back to Querida to contact Medb, but Sheraton explains that there is more at stake than just the loot. Beni is an arms merchant. He wants the loot to pay for black market Soviet nuclear weapons, which he sold to a number of terrorist groups. She had arranged the sales, and only agreed to figure out a way to find the loot to keep the Russian mob or the terrorists from killing her for what they would think is a swindle. Beni had found the portrait of Medb in a discount art store of all places, and had discovered the map on the back. He used it as collateral to arrange credit for the purchase of the nukes, then used the nukes as collateral to obtain payment from the terrorists. He hoped to use the latter to pay off the former, but the bagman for the terrorists refused to hand over payment until the nukes were delivered, and the arms black marketers refused to hand over the nukes until they received payment. Meanwhile, both threatened to kill him if he did not follow through on the deals, and since she vouched for him, her neck is on the chopping block too. She figured that if anyone could find the loot, it was Team Girl, so she arranged for them to find the portrait and planted the tracking device to follow them. She almost thought that her gambit had failed until the Girls took the alternative path. Even then, she wasn't sure the loot actually existed until they found it. Unfortunately, now that Beni has betrayed her, her life will still be in danger even if he makes his payment and delivers the nukes, so the only way she can save her life is to kill Beni now, before he can get away. As far as the Girls are concerned, however, they want to stop the deal, to keep the terrorists from getting nukes. Unfortunately, the three of them together can't stop a dozen armed men all alone, and Sheraton herself made calling for help impossible.

Then Sunny gets an idea. They head back to their camp and start a large fire. Eile figures out what she has in mind, and gives Sheraton an empty tub to pound out a beat on. Sheraton thinks they're crazy and starts to leave, but her Abyssinian partner convinces her to stay and help. Eile plays the beat of the drumming they heard the night before, and as Sheraton plays it continuously, the Girls dance around the fire and wordlessly sing the chant. It isn't long before Eile feels the ghosts gather around them, and she can hear them drum-beating and chanting as well. She even sees them, dancing around them, and finally the lead ghost approaches them. The Girls hold hands as Kitty jumps up on Eile's shoulders and face the leader. Sheraton joins them, and the Abyssinian gets up on her shoulders as well.

Sunny tries to explain that in the nearby clearing, a group of dangerous men are preparing to leave. She tries to describe nukes and the effects they'll have, especially radiation sickness, but Eile isn't sure she's getting through to him. Then four of the men enter the clearing, attracted by the sound of the chanting. They panic when they see the ghosts and open fire. The ghosts attack them as the three ladies dive for cover. They catch three of the men, and as they watch the men are practically rotted to dust in moments. The fourth man flees, and the ghosts give chase. The Girls and Sheraton follow, but pause at the edge of the clearing to watch from cover. The ghosts fly at the helicopter; the terrified men open fire, but to no effect; all they manage to do is shoot some of their own, and the rest are killed by the ghosts. Beni panics and takes off, but as he tries to fly off over a steep rocky downslope the leader grows to gigantic size and gets in his way. He throws the helicopter to one side and drops, but catches his blades on the rock wall. The blades shear away, the helicopter falls, and it crashes and tumbles down the slope, exploding halfway down.

Eile, Sunny, and Sheraton come out of hiding and approach the ghosts. All except the leader chant and dance, and turn into a whirlwind that enlarges and disperses as they vanish, as in the gorge. The leader smiles at them and offers the girls beaded headbands; Eile gets the feeling he has adopted them into his tribe. He then glowers at Sheraton, turning dark and putrid, and points at her, but then fades away into nothing, leaving only a faint breeze that quickly dies. Eile sees that Sheraton is visibly shaken, and she figures she just got a warning from their new friends. Sunny wonders if the loot was destroyed in the crash. Eile doubts it, but the bars are probably now scattered all over the downslope and the floor of the valley. She figures people will probably continue to find them for a century or more, assuming anyone even looks there. As they turn to go back to the camp, though, Kitty gives them a triumphant meow, and they see her and the Abyssinian sitting next to a canvas bag.

The next morning they begin the five day trek back to Querida. They consolidate the equipment and supplies on one mule so Sheraton can ride the other, an indignity she bears with quiet dignity. During the trip she barely speaks to the Girls and refuses to engage them in conversation, but she pulls her own weight without complaint. If anything, Kitty and the Abyssinian get along better than Sheraton and the Girls. Once back at the tourist trap, however, she tells them this changes nothing, and she and the Abyssinian drive off. She wouldn't even accept a share of the loot.

The Girls find Medb waiting for them at the B&B. After they clean up, they tell their tale over dinner in the saloon. They are not sorry they unleashed the ghosts on Beni and his men; they would have caused the deaths of thousands, maybe even millions. They figure they deserve their fates. What concerns them is the bag of loot they brought back, namely, who really owns it. Medb explains that, legally, it belongs to the owners of the Bassick mine, and being the last living shareholder, that would be her. She has little interest in it, though, so she offers to let them keep it. They counted its contents one night: there are nine bars of gold and six of silver. They decide to keep one bar of each, and to use the rest to set up a trust fund for charity work. Medb offers to set it up, and they agree.

Sunny asks if she knows anything of the Indian ghosts. She confirms that a tribe once lived in that area, and the elder Beni had traded with them. That was how he knew of the caves. When he hid the loot, he gave the tribe gifts to keep them quiet, but one was purposely contaminated with plague-carrying fleas. The tribe contracted the Black Death and all died. There was nothing she could do to save them, but she laid a geas upon them so that they could not rest until they had taken their revenge. She regrets that innocents, very nearly including them, suffered for the Beni's crimes, but now that his descendent is dead, perhaps the tribe can rest. She had lived among them, and learned their ceremonies and rituals; as the only living members of the tribe they should know them as well. She offers to teach them to them when they return to Denver, and they agree. Afterwards she treats them to a show in the brothel recounting the legend of Jules Beni and the Bandit Loot of the Sangre de Diablos.