When It's Time For Our Characters To Get "Intimate"

So I've been contemplating whether to write this post for a few days, due to its (obvious) sensitive nature and how afraid I am to put "that" kind of writing into the world.
But it's the uncomfortable feeling of sharing writing that has a sexual nature that is spurring me to put it out there, for a number of reasons:
ONE: I am self-publishing a book that may or may not be in the YA/NA category based on subject matter, ages of my characters, etc. It is fantasy and steampunk, and although I'm sure that can appeal to adults, I think it would be of interest to a younger audience as well. That being said--the sex scenes between my characters that keep sneaking into my WIP are both fun to write, and what I think is necessary to showcase my characters in a truthful nature.
TWO: I don't really read erotica (I tried with Fifty Shades and got so frustrated with Ana-what's-her-name that I wanted to throw the damned thing in my garbage disposal), and I also don't read much "current" NA (contemporary story lines), though I'm trying to change that.

SO I don't really know WHAT makes a good sex scene. I don't know which words to use (Anatomically-correct? Vague? Flowery?!) when describing the different parts of my characters. Some browsing on the internet showed me that this is a common issue.

WHAT I DO KNOW: I want my sex scenes to be like real life. Messy, sometimes embarrassing, with bodily functions and character's self-consciousness about their bodies and what is happening. Sex is not all about "hot sweaty bodies melding together in perfect, simultaneous orgasms" or some billionaire tying you up and whipping you with a riding crop (though this can be hot as well). I want my sex scenes to be truthful; a union of both discovering one another's bodies, but also a string of uncertainties and awkward moments. REAL MOMENTS. What sex is REALLY LIKE.

I saw something on Twitter this week about "condom use" being a topic of discussion regarding romance novels, and how safe sex isn't mentioned enough (though many authors begged to differ, and had the evidence to prove it). I like that books are being honest about sexual encounters, in all their glorious ways and their "hum-drum" ways as well.

AS I discussed some of my WIP with a friend, they mentioned how they felt that my scene's sexual nature was inappropriate for a younger audience (true) and would severely compromise said audience (sad, but probably true as well). It troubles me to think about cutting these scenes out in my second draft, because I do really think they enrich my story--so I just wanted to share one right now. Partly to get the scary part over with (AGH sending to my editor and beta-readers?!? They'll know I think of sexual things!!) and also to see if anyone wanted to share their feedback about what THEY do when it comes to writing sex scenes. What words do you use, and if you have any thoughts about mine, feel free to share. (Are my anatomical words too strange?)
So without further ado, here is a scene from my first draft (forgive me for that) between the two main characters, Ambrose (female) and Vassar (male) finally being intimate.
WARNING: THIS HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT. If you are uncomfortable regarding explicit writing, please do not continue.
***Update: Due to insightful comments since posting this, I have since changed some of the wording and shortened the piece. I have begun to realize that it is extremely descriptive and probably only appropriate for erotica--but that doesn't negate the fact that it was FUN to write! Enjoy. :)

I look down at his chest and torso with hungry eyes. Vassar’s broad build and sparse pattern of golden body hair make me want to scream. I run my hands over his body, pushing myself up to kiss him there.
"Man, you’re a tease,” he says, reaching down to pull my sweater off. His eyes are like fingers over my body, a smile of desire on his lips. I feel self-conscious, and try to lie flat so that any extra flesh doesn’t roll over on itself. Vassar stands at the foot of the bed and looks down at me; his tall form and lean muscles making me ache for him.
“Come here,” Vassar says, his voice husky. He yanks me by my hips to the edge, running his hands over my covered breasts and down to my stomach.
“May I?” he asks, looking at my bra.
My heart batters around. “You may.”
Vassar unclasps the front, revealing my breasts to the open air. He runs his warm hands over them, rolling the nipples under his fingers until they’re erect. My entire core shakes with longing, and when our eyes meet, he smiles.
“You like this?”
“Yes,” I say, short of breath.
“Am I teasing you?”
“Yes.”
Vassar approaches me and takes one nipple in his mouth, massaging the other breast with his hand. He rolls it in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it as I moan and sigh, the noises coming unconsciously from within me.
I can tell it excites him, so I get a little louder.
Vassar surfaces and comes up to kiss my mouth, massaging his tongue more aggressively against mine. “You’re gonna wake the whole zeppelin,” he whispers.
“Sorry. I’ll be quieter.”
“I didn’t say I minded.”
He continues to handle my breasts with expertise, and the fleeting thought of their uneven size goes through my mind.
“These are wonderful,” he murmurs.
“One’s bigger than the other,” I say, figuring I mine as well not ignore the fact.
Vassar leans back, examining one in each hand.
“Ah. I see, they are. The best of both worlds,” he says, kissing my mouth again. His acceptance of my body, with its imperfections, heightens my desire to alarming rates. It makes me feel safer, like I can let go.
I decide to say something I never normally would. “Make me come,” I whisper, looking into his eyes.
A moment later he unbuttons my pants and slowly wiggles them over my hips and butt, pulling one leg out and then the other.  Vassar looks down at the lacey white panties I selected this morning—I think with the subconscious hope we’d be in this situation.
“Gorgeous. Holy shit.”
He gently pushes my legs apart, the feeling of utter vulnerability sending delicious waves through me. He settles his torso between my knees, bringing his mouth down to kiss my stomach and along the top of my panties.
I sigh, twisting my hands into his hair. The thought of his mouth on my flesh is so delectable to imagine, but the worry of how I might taste makes me hesitant to move forward.
Vassar takes the edge of my undergarments into his mouth, pulling them down with his teeth. I watch him with interest as he pulls them completely off with his hands. He kisses along my legs, into one inner thigh, skipping over my sensitive crotch, and over to the other.
“Arrrghh,” I groan, and he laughs from between my legs.
“Are you getting impatient?”
I don’t even answer, nodding furiously instead.
“Fine.”
Vassar continues back the way he came across my left thigh, but instead of moving to my leg, he finally puts his mouth over my opening, licking the sensitive flesh at the top.
I moan so loudly that I clap my hands over my mouth. Vassar continues to run his tongue over it, before moving an inch down. He lightly pushes my legs up and wider. I reach above for a pillow, finally locating one and throwing it over my face to muffle the noise.
I can feel the waves of orgasm building. He takes two fingers and sticks them inside gently, lifting his head up.
“Does that hurt?”
“No, no. Keep going.”
Vassar brings his mouth down again, sucking gloriously and moving his fingers in a “come here” motion inside of me. The combination of sensations is better than anything I’ve ever felt, and I can sense the orgasm coming.
“Keep going, harder…” I instruct.
He moans, continuing to finger me.
“I’m—about—to—” I breathe, bringing the pillow over my face again. I feel my legs begin to shake uncontrollably, the burst of orgasm shooting all over my body as I scream into the fabric. Vassar fingers me harder as I come. He continues until I stop moaning, the last waves of pleasure twitching through my body.
I look down as Vassar wipes his mouth with the sheet and comes up to lie next to me.
He waits for my breathing to slow, swirling light circles with a finger over my stomach.
“That…was…amazing.”
“Thank you,” he says, kissing me. His tongue has a slightly tangy, bitter flavor.
“Did I taste bad?” I ask in worry.
“No! Not at all. I loved it; hearing you let go.”


That's it for now; feel free to share your thoughts, tips, and tricks when writing your own sex scenes!