Possible reworking of Island of Fog

While in the throes of publishing Book 9 in the Fog series in two days from now, I've been thinking about doing a bit of fiddling work to Book 1, Island of Fog, in an effort to make it a little faster-paced at the start.

I received a 2-star Amazon review the other day that said, "I just could not get into this book at all, I tried too but it was just so not what I was expecting it to be. It seemed long and drawn out." Even a true fan, while plugging the series, said, "It starts off a little slow but just to get you introduced to the characters, at which point it's full speed ahead for the next 8 books."

When I asked Brian Clopper, a 5th-grade-teacher who reads the book to his class every year, he said: "I will say it takes a long time to get to the transformations. I know my students were much more interested in getting to them than the build up. The smart clothes scene could be trimmed down too and maybe amp up the manticore creepiness and fight."

I feel a challenge coming on! I've been hearing comments like this for years, and while most fans don't mention that Book 1 was slow to start with, that doesn't mean to say it wasn't. It just means they didn't mind as much, that they were invested in the story and plowed through, or actually liked the slow build. But I wonder how many other readers have quietly given up on it?

The more Fog books I publish, the leaner my writing becomes, yet the books remain the same length -- which in theory means the stories are generally faster-paced with more story packed in. I'm pretty sure they jump into the action earlier, too. When I look back at the first two books in particular, I see lots of places I could trim down.

At the request of my agent a while back, I developed a screenplay for Island of Fog. I was surprised at how much faster the action seemed just because I combined a few days at the beginning -- the same events, just happening much quicker, cutting out the fat in the process.

So, for all those Fog readers who like the series but secretly think parts of the first book dragged, now's your chance to speak up! I'm asking you to email me or post here to tell me what you'd like to see tightened or trimmed or cut from a revamped version. If the book ends up ten or twenty thousand words shorter, that's okay -- the book shouldn't be longer than it needs to be to tell the story.

Don't stop at Island of Fog, either. I personally think Labyrinth of Fire starts off slow. It takes six chapters for Hal to set off on his mission. I could say that the kids had to take time to settle into their new home, but somehow that argument doesn't work for me anymore. I'm upping my game. :-)

My long-term plan is to tighten the first book in particular so that, when readers download it free, they end up being sucked in earlier instead of getting bored. Fans might tell them, "Hang in there, and you'll enjoy it!" But I don't want new readers to just "hang in there." I want them to feel they can't put it down, and I believe the only way to do that is to tighten up the story and cut out the fat.

So, with all that in mind, please help me out in as much detail as you like. Thank you! :-)