Talk At or Talk With? (8/15/14)

I don’t like to be talked at, and for that reason I try never to talk at anyone else. I try to talk with them.

For my ever so brief stay on my local Toastmasters leadership team I went out of my way to try and communicate with my team. Previously I had been talked at. In fact that is the way that most of the managers I have ever worked for, in the real world, talked to me too.

Have we become so conditioned to being talked at in our professional lives that when someone wants to talk with us we actually shutdown? My team did! I wanted them to be a part of the process and every opportunity they were given they just sat there, unresponsive.

Whether it be on the job or buying a car I find talking at me to be patronizing and condescending. In fact the minute a person starts to talk at me I completely shutdown and it’s like listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher…Wan Wan Wan. If I’m not part of the process you’re never going to sell me on anything, not that fancy new whatchamacallit or your personal opinions. If you want to sell me, you better start talking with me. Am I the only one that feels that way?