Letters to Kel: USE YOUR OWN VOCAB, PLEASE?

Every once in a while, I get an editing job where it is oh, so painfully clear that the writer is trying to use a vocabulary that he or she does not normally possess. They're someone with a Kool-aid budget, but trying to talk with champagne words. You know what I mean?

Instead of using words they know, words they use every day, they reach for the fancy, multi-syllabic ones that they think will get people to pay attention and take their books seriously.

What they do instead is make themselves look ridiculous. Do you know who Mrs. Malaprop is? She's a character in an old English drama who used words that sounded "almost" right for what she meant. For instance, someone says "perspective" when they actually mean "prospective." Or in a recent book I edited, the phrase was, "His actions were admiral." I was pretty sure the author meant "admirable." You know what the writers mean, because the words sound a lot like the right ones -- but you also know they're using the wrong word. And that's where the comedy (or frustration) comes in. (I really do have to start a file of these silly gaffs, to bring up for future examples.)

Do you want your book to be considered a joke? Humorous? Amusing? If it's not on purpose, then don't do a Malaprop.

Or worse, the impression you give your readers is that you really don't care about your writing. It's a sloppy mess that you dumped into the computer and then before the pixils on the screen cooled down, you shot the file off to a website, a blog, an editor who didn't care toad squat about proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, or context, and it was published. Or, what probably happens more often than editors and publishers want to admit, the author is a prima donna who believes his/her writing is pure gold and has a hissy-fit if the editor changes one word -- even if the author mis-spelled his/her own name ...

The language in your book should sound as close to the way you actually talk as possible -- but with the grammar corrected, of course. Try to sound like a dry-as-dust academic, or use enough purple prose and sugary imagery to put someone into diabetic shock when you're actually someone who likes shoot-em-up adventure with a large dash of humor thrown in ... just don't.

On the other hand, if you know your vocabulary needs expanding, then do it naturally -- read the type of books you want your writing to emulate. Change the way you talk. Do it gradually. If you want to change your vocabulary from nickel and dime words to fifty-cent pieces, EARN the vocabulary. Get used to using those words. Make them part of you -- don't wear a mask.

Readers will know you're not being honest, and it will make your story come off as plastic, posed, contrived ... try too hard to be high-falutin', and you'll just be fallutin' flat on your face.

*****************************************NEWS!!!COME TO A PARTY!All day today, Thursday, August 14, Author Island is sponsoring a SHIFTER Block Party on Facebook.What's a Shifter?Shape shifter, of course.
Every hour, a different author will be talking about their shape shifter creations, the books they appear in, give excerpts, answer questions .... and there might even be prizes.I KNOW there are lots of you out there who like to read Shifter books -- come on over and check it out.
From 2-3 pm, EST, I will be discussing my shape shifter creations, the Hoveni -- part of my Commonwealth Universe SF series. I'll be posting excerpts, and talking about stories that are in the works.
HOVEN QUEST was a finalist in the SF category of the EPIC Awards in 2008. The Meruk Episodes, 1-5, WON the EPIC Award for Anthology in 2010. I have 3 of the 5 stories in the next Meruk Episodes anthology -- maybe you can give me some feedback and ideas for stories #14 and #15, to help me finish the anthology?
Just put SHIFTER BLOCK PARTY in the Search field on Facebook to find us.