4 Things I’ve Learned in the Second Trimester
Yesterday, we hit 25 weeks, which seems to be the point at which Baby Reid could probably survive outside of me on his own. I’m not anywhere near ready for that to happen, however, so he better stay put for quite a while longer.
It’s been a busy summer, and every time I stroll past the room that’ll be dubbed his, I realize that I am not at all prepared (in a material sense) to bring a baby home. Emotionally? I’m not sure it’s possible to ever be prepared in that sense, but I think we’re both as prepared as we can be.
I promise this isn’t going to turn into a mommy blog.
I think I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past 25 weeks. Here are the top four things on the list:
1. I’ve learned to cut myself some slack.
I’ve fallen way behind in my writing over the past 5 months, which I have been beating myself up a bit over. I’m tired though, and life’s been busy, and I’m only planning to do this once, so I’ve made an executive decision to cut myself some slack. Growing a person and holding down a full-time job should full my multitasking quota for the time being. I published two books in six months, which was a huge accomplishment (though I wanted to make it three in a year), and I’ll get back on track soon (in fact, by removing all deadlines, I’ve actually found myself more eager to get back to it).
I also realized the other day that I hadn’t posted Canadian links for West, my second book, so here they are:
Createspace (the most profitable print option, since some of you have asked)
If you’ve read West, please, please do me a HUGE favour and leave me a review where you purchased it/anywhere you can. Despite cutting myself some slack, I’ve fallen way behind in my efforts to publicize it, and could really use a hand.
I’m also going to be ordering some print copies, but I’ll let you know more about that in another post.
2. I’ve learned that my pre-pregnancy body wasn’t actually so terrible.
There’s a brilliant line from a Regina Spektor song that I’ve always tried to refer back to when I’d find myself down about the number on the scale:
I got a perfect body
But sometimes I forget
I got a perfect body
Cause my eyelashes catch my sweat
I spent most of my twenties being very hard on myself due to my size, which, hasn’t fluctuated much since I was twenty. I’ve gained a fair amount of weight so far with my pregnancy, and I’ve been fair more accepting of it in this context than I ever would have been in any other situation. And hey, my body is making another person right now, so, though I wouldn’t have quite planned it all the way it happened, it works pretty well. All this is not to say I won’t go back to feeling ugh after I give birth and lament the fact that Baby Reid was only a percentage of the total sum, but for now, I’m focusing on keeping active and treating myself a reasonable amount.
Also, my pre-pregnancy body didn’t swell in strange spots. That was nice. My ankles come and go more than my overwhelming desire for ice cream.
3. I’ve learned that I’m probably going to spend the rest of my life having to contend with other peoples’ opinions/advisement.
It’s not that I’m a stranger to other peoples’ opinions. It just seems that as soon as you start looking obviously pregnant, people seem to have a slew of things to say about it. Some of it is nice to hear, useful, and reassuring, and other bits, well, they make me want to curl up in the fetal position until I turn 60, at which time I hope my child will have developed some level of independence.
Here’s the thing. I’m aware that my life is going to change. I’m aware that I’m going to have to make adjustments. I’m aware that it’s going to be hard, and stressful, and I’m going to miss sleep. Being told this isn’t entirely helpful.
I’m also an adult, and most of the other adults I know survive this just fine.
Probably the best, and most assuring piece of wisdom that was passed down to me was that you don’t become a fundamentally different person when you have a child. You’re just the same person with some new responsibilities to react to. That was reassuring to hear.
I won’t share the worst advice I’ve received. Ask me in person if you want to hear it.
4. I’m never going to be fully prepared for the future.
I’m a planner, and this lesson has been a particularly hard one to choke back. Miscarrying a year and a bit ago really drove that home in an unpleasant way, and to be honest, has left me very cynical about the process the second time around, despite the fact that everything is going very well, and so far, has been perfectly predictable, right down to the time my ankles started swelling, and Baby Reid started making himself know via lots of kicking (as long as his dad isn’t around). I’ve had a few shakeups lately in other areas of my life that have also caused me to realize this as well.
I will say that being pregnant has caused me to force myself to slow down (particularly when my ankles disappear) and participate in the now a little more. It’s been nice taking a moment to smile to myself when I get a series of kicks after my morning orange, or watch my stomach twitch uncontrollably between 8 and 10 most nights.
Here are a couple of questions for you, readers. What’s the one thing you couldn’t live without in your first few months of parenthood? And the counter, what’s something you bought that you wish you’d left at the store?
