The Vampire Test

It's official.  I'm a vampire.

 I've always suspected I might be, since I have very pale skin and dark hair.  And I'm always cold.  My hands are like ice.  (When I used to Scuba dive in Cozumel, the dive masters had a great nickname for me:  "La Vampira."  They suspected I was a vampire, too.)

Anyway, my daughter came up behind me and shoved an onion in my face.  I backed away from that thing quickly.

"You failed, Mom!" she said.

"Failed what?" I asked.

"The onion test.  Vampires are afraid of onions, and you are clearly afraid of onions.  Which makes you a vampire!"

Okay. There you have it.  The indisputable evidence has proven that I am a vampire.  Maybe I should go find a coffin to sleep in, now!