Easter and Passover: A Time to Remember

Both Passover and Easter are celebrations of remembrance and renewal.  Jews gather with family and friends at seders to recall their ancestors’ redemption from slavery to freedom. Christians join together at church and at home to remember the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Both holidays are rich with family traditions, rituals, and special foods. The egg, a metaphor of the circle of life, fertility, and rebirth is a symbol in both holidays.

While holidays typically are a challenge to those who have lost loved ones, both Easter and Passover present opportunities to lovingly remember those who are no longer here.

In fact, Passover and Easter are the perfect time for those who have had losses to draw on the healing power of living and loving memories. A special song, custom, prayer, or a recipe, can evoke the memory of a loved one. At your holiday meals, encourage your family and friends to tell stories and anecdotes about those who have passed on. It can be very cathartic and therapeutic for those who are sharing remembrances. And it ensures that loved ones are not forgotten.

With food playing such a central role in both holidays, one way of paying tribute is by cooking. In our book, The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last, Florie Wachtenheim tells how she keeps her mother’s memory alive by preparing her favorite dishes.

“Cooking is an interest my mother and I shared,” she said.  ”This is probably the single tradition that I carry on and that means the most to me. She is in my head and heart when I compose each holiday menu.”

Another way of remembering is to bring out the pictures and photo albums after the holiday meal. In our book, the late actor Jack Klugman told how he remembered his friend and acting partner, Tony Randall, by surrounding himself with photographs.

“To remember him, I just look at a picture,” he said.

Photos keep memories alive for succeeding generations, too. It’s an opportunity to share your favorite holiday memories of the deceased with children and grandchildren.

In our book, Janine Lavery describes how she created a photo memory book for her young children so they would have a point of reference for recalling special times with their grandfather.

“My father passed in 1998 when my daughter Kirsten was five-years-old and my daughter Emma was one-year-old,” she said.  ”I loved my father so much and he was such a strong presence in my life and the life of my family that I was afraid that my children would only remember the sense of loss because they were so young. I didn’t want my kids to only remember what they did not have, but also what they did have.”

Lavery said the book helps keep alive many special times with her father, including enjoyable holiday celebrations.

 “Both girls talk about these memories as if they recall them, particularly Emma, who was too young to remember but speaks as if she did.”

Another good activity when you have several generations together is to trace the family tree. In our book, Arthur Kurzweil tells how he carries on the memories of his ancestors through a lifetime dedication to genealogy.

“For the people who appreciate it, genealogy provides amazing tools for exploring identity,” he said.

Finally, one of the best ways to carry on the passions, values, and memories of your loved one is to donate to a meaningful charity in honor of your loved one. The Living Memories Project has numerous examples of those who have endowed scholarships, established foundations, and organized charitable events to honor the memory of a family member or a friend.

  The Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last , written by Dr. Meryl Ain, Arthur Fischman, and Stewart Ain, is a new book that shows how grief can be transformed into positive action and living legacies.  The book contains a collection of heartwarming stories of lives remembered and actions taken by individuals and families to keep the legacies and memories of loved ones alive. Individuals profiled in the book include celebrities and others.

The Living Memories Project was featured in The Jewish Week: “The Empty Seat at the Seder Table”  http://www.thejewishweek.com/special-sections/special-holiday-issues/empty-seat-seder-table