The Annotated Ramones: Ramones
Just as a little experiment, I'm going to annotate the first Ramones album in real time while I listen. Perhaps it'll be awesome. Perhaps it'll suck! Let's find out, shall we?
"Blitzkrieg Bop"--Production on this album kinda blows. Bass in my left ear, guitar in my right. Or maybe the other way around. This being 1976, the use of "Blitzkrieg" was still pretty daring. Now it seems pretty tame. Why the hell doesn't Joey aspirate his "h"s on the "Hey, Ho, Let's Go" part?
"Beat on the Brat"-People always talk about the Ramones being this awesome back to basics, no frills band, which they were, but Joey's vocals are double tracked on most songs on this album. Not on the verses here, but still. When I saw them live, Joey wielded a baseball bat during this number. He did not succeed in looking menacing.
"Judy is a Punk"--I saw the Ice Capades when I was a kid. It featured Dorothy Hamill. Not sure if Judy was there or not. You don't think of the Ramones as big heirs of the folk tradition, but that "perhaps they'll die" is right out of "The Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly."
Not sure where the "second verse, same as the first," originates, but I only know it from Herman's Hermits' "I'm Henry the 8th, I am."
Singing in a joking way about the SLA, the group that kidnapped Patty Hearst, was a pretty badass move in 1976.
"I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend."--Pretty much every Rolling Stone review of a Ramones album when I was growing up had this "OMG! There's a ballad on this album! What a change of pace!" sentence. But this right here is a primo slab of 60's-inspired power pop balladry. And it's the first album.
"Chain Saw" Signals the band's love of horror movies that culminates in "Pet Sematary." I also like the way they say "Massacree," which I can't help but assume is influenced by "Alice's Restaurant."
Taking my baby away from me is a frequent theme for lovelorn Joey for the entire 20 years of the band's existence.
"Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue"--I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is the dumbest song in the entire Ramones catalog. Not the worst, by a long shot, but definitely the dumbest.
"I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement"--Here's what amounts to a complete horror movie in just two minutes and forty-one seconds. I think people can go overboard about the Ramones boiling stuff down to its essence, but, man, that's exactly what this is. There's something down there. What is it? We don't know! We just know Joey doesn't want to go down there! And who can blame him? I think he's probably gonna go, though. Especially with that weird, inconclusive ending.
"Loudmouth"--Not my favorite. Kind of a worse version of "Beat on the Brat." Probably could have been left off the album.
"Havana Affair"--This, on the other hand, is freaking brilliant. It's absurd and funny and steeped in cold war politics without evidencing any ideology. What could possibly be going on at a Cuban talent show that's of interest to the CIA? We don't know! But I suppose spying is better than making a living by pickin' the banana! That "hooray for the USA" doesn't sound incredibly sincere. W0nder if Johnny objected.
"Listen to My Heart"--This, my friends, this is the genius of the Ramones. Dee Dee's absurdist tough guy routine balanced out by Joey's heartbreak. Catch the handclaps between the verses! I think that counts as a guitar solo, too, though of course people will insist that the Ramones didn't have any until whenever they notice one.
"53rd & 3rd"--This one's pretty interesting from a sociological and psychological perspective, but I don't think it's really a Ramones song. Turning tricks for drugs is just a little too gritty,and the whole green beret fantasy/ gay bashing killer thing is just a little more of Dee Dee's psyche than I really ever wanted to see. Also our first taste of Dee Dee's lead vocals, which would improve greatly over the decades.
"Let's Dance"--I'm going to say this now, and I will say it again if I do more of these. The Ramones were simply the best cover band of all time. There is no other band that consistently takes songs by other people and makes them sound like they were written for this band. Better than the original.
"I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You"--In which the Ramones explore the tragedy of unrequited love from the other side.
"Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World"--What the hell are they doing here? 3 Jews and one German American singing about being Nazis. In 1976 singing "I'm a Nazi-schatze you know I fight for the fatherland" was probably way more shocking than they realized. I think it's just Dee Dee being dumb, playing with stuff he knows is offensive to bug the squares. Mel Brooks making nazis the butt of jokes was pretty readily accepted, but shit like this probably kept the Ramones from greater commercial success. What I love about it, though, is what I love about the Ramones--the complete irreverence. They stubbornly refuse to take this shit seriously, and by this shit I mean anything but love, and that's an ideology I can totally get behind.
