There is a Word for That

I don’t know how it is for most people, but the point on which my mood and abilities balances is very small and sensitive.

It doesn’t take much to swing me from doing okay, to doing crappy and trying to hold my head above water. Trying to keep focus and purpose when things dip away from a balance is very hard.

I have been have issues with my truck for a little while now, and recently they got worse and more confusing. Then, to frustrate me more, the worse and confusing went way, leaving me baffled and worried. Worse and confusing came back yesterday evening. Ruining my ability to relax in front of the television, or when I finally crawled to bed.

I don’t know what is wrong. I have some possibles – some ‘maybe it’s…’  but nothing that makes me think, ‘I can deal with this’.

Trying to work through this issue, trying to get myself to see how I should progress, is stymied by the fact that this frustration and stress triggers my cycle, making it hard to focus and be analytical, which makes it hard to move forward on plans to fix the truck, which gives me stress, which…. Well, you get the picture.

I have little choice but to try and attack the two first possibles of we the truck is acting up. Deal with the first things I think of, and see what happens. But even doing that is more difficult, if I don’t have a vehicle with which to go do that.

This entire summer has been a write off in so many ways. I love this season. I adore spending time working, and relaxing, in the long, warm days. This year that hasn’t happened – for a number of reasons. I just hope not getting it, doesn’t affect the coming winter cycle’s.

Don’t get me wrong – it isn’t all doom and gloom. I mean I did get published this year and it’s hard to top that, but the summer really hasn’t gone in a way I hoped, planned, or anticipated.

But I guess there is a word for that – Life.

Filed under: Mental Health, MIscellaneous