Breaking the Rules

A lot of contemporary writers encourage the next generation to break the rules of writing, but what might those be? Can it be true that none of them are hard and fast? I thought I’d compile a list of the writing rules that I’m aware of that I’m prepared to break, and the ones that I’m not.

Rules for breaking:

Adverbs: I love a good adverb. At some point you have to consider why the adverb exists. I agree when Jonathan Franzen says that ‘Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting’, so what do you have left to make a passage not dull? After a “he said” “she said” never to further convey the emotion of the words, but in a passage of action, go for it! But of course, use them spar- in a sparing manner (see? What a pointless work-around…)

Long, run-on sentences: I loooooove long run-on sentences. I’m not gonna let some asshole full stop break my flow! Let the reader read the sentence a few times if they get lost. They’ll have to trust me on this, and I’ll have to hope they appreciate my confidence.

Avoid dialect: not entirely, though. Do it here and there, but best reserved for minor characters who leave pronto.

Lists: I get the feeling that lists are frowned upon, but I love a good list as well. I think in lists, so if you wanna hear my voice, it has lists in it. I’m not so great at conversation obvs but that’s not what this is about.

Pictures or diagrams: I have a feeling these go against the ethos of making the reader imagine something. Again, I’ve been trained to think in graphs, diagrams, simple visual aids. And I think they’re a lot of fun, too.

No internet: How good a writer are you and what the hell are you writing about that you don’t need the internet while you’re writing? I sit on the internet all the time. I’ll interrupt a sentence for a fact check if necessary. I could do it later, but why bother? You want me to describe a chair with my imagination? I’m gonna, but let me look at the closest existing one first. Don’t be one of these people who thinks themselves powerless against the internet’s seductive charms, because it’s only true if you believe it.

Plot: I used to care, but not so much any more. If it gets in the way of fun, forget it! If you’re having a great time describing a room for two pages, well, you describe the shit out of that room, and I’ll enjoy it if you did. Or not, but you’ll work that out down the line I’m sure.

Chronological order: not necessarily, but think why you’re doing it, because you can undercut the strength of your story by needlessly revealing a conclusion here and there.

Show, don’t tell: Eh. If you stick to this too rigidly, you’ll end up going through some exhausting work arounds to do exposition on everything. Move it along, we’re all getting more impatient.

Alliteration: the funny thing here would be to write something alliterative. Anyways, go for it! Use it. Sometimes. Never force it.

Mixed metaphors: you can totally do this if you’re aware of it and being funny. Extended metaphors for the same reason.

The final draft is the first draft - 10%: a Stephen King rule this one. I tried this and my “final draft” was so bloody skeletal. My first draft is done when I’ve reached the end of the story, but there’s frequently a lot of “blah blah someone needs to do a thing” notes in it. Plus when I write dialogue, I write the dialogue only, sans speech tags or hair strokes or coffee sips or whatever, so that always needs fleshed out. Sometimes I’m inspired to jump off into a little paragraph of backstory on a re-draft. It really depends how you write.

Infodumping: sometimes you’ve done a lot of research and you can’t find a logical place for the facts. This and inner monologue are why people always say the book is better: a film for example is much more limited, and if you ever delve into the research done for a film, you see how much they had to cut because it didn’t make any sense for any of the characters to say it. You don’t have to do this in writing! Please pass on those interesting facts. This isn’t school anymore: loosen up and take a massive dump whenever you need to.

What rules can I see no reason for breaking?

Characters giving each other speeches in place of properly constructed dialogue: this is funny like once, then its just infuriating and silly.

No intertextuality: Ew! It’s so unnatural! Hahaha. Readers care about the strength of your writing, not how it sits on the strength of someone else’s, and nobody anywhere gives a shit how well/obscurely read you are. It’s as Dostoyevsky once said: put all your Nietzsche in the trash, please.

Adverbs or adverbial phrases following a speech tag: never! You sap the snap from your dialogue.

Characters are described in full when they are first encountered: fuck you! Those characters are mine, the reader thinks. I’ll tell you what they look like.

No long passages of italics: unless you feel like cocking your head and squinting your eyes. Go the whole thing with no italics if you can, I hate stupid italics.

No backstory in dialogue: a strange one, but makes sense.

Active voice, not passive: yes. Use this even when personification of inanimate things is required, it gives extra punch to everything.

No “suddenly”s: they quickly reveal where the writer was scared that the passage was disconnected- the writer is a poor judge of that.

No writing gimmicks just for the sake of it: but you’ll always be able to argue your case if you feel in a flourishy mood :-)

I hope this helped and feel free to share some of your rules and rule breaks too!