My Two Least Favorite Words & What I Learned from Them

Most of you probably came to this week’s blog to find out my two least favorite words, and how I could even have such a bold belief towards two words in our vocabulary. It hit me the other day, like an instant intuition download, that these two words, especially when used together, really rub me the wrong way. Now, in theory, these words are in no way offensive, hurtful, hateful, or mean, but in my humble opinion they are damaging in their own right. So, what are these words that I hear, probably on a daily basis, that cause me so much angst?

You should.

Sorry if this was a let down for you, and I’m even more sorry if you think that this answer makes me crazy. Allow me to explain why these two little words in the English vocabulary, when put together, send me into a tailspin, and why I believe it would be really great if we could start to eliminate them from our speech.

You hear sentences started with you should ALL the time. “You should go to the gym today.” “You should come with us to this party.” “You should be nicer.” “You should eat more vegetables,” and the list goes on. The same can even be said for it’s lovely opposite, you shouldn’t. While often times the advice for a you should statement can be helpful or even crucial, the energy of the words themselves, I believe are negative. Who are we to tell anyone what we they should or should not do? I really started to think about this, and why I think these words effect me in such a way, and this is what I came up with:

You Should: Takes Away Your Decision Making Power. When you don’t know what to do or are trying to make even the smallest decision in your life, if someone tells you you should do something, you’re more inclined to do what they say. Hey, if someone else tells me it’s the right thing to do, I’m more inclined to do it. We then bypass our own thoughts and intuition and give up that decision making power. It’s great to take in others’ opinions, but just remember; only you know whether you should or should not do something.
You Should: Creates the Ultimate Peer Pressure. Just like taking away your decision making power, it also compels you do go against your gut, pushing or pulling you in different directions based on someone’s belief system, other than your own. Even with experts or mentors, when someone tells you to do something, you often do it, and sometimes without even checking in with yourself. Don’t just follow the grain because everyone else says it’s the right thing to do. Honor where you are and where you stand in any given moment.
You Should: Makes You Question Your Own Judgment. You’re making great decisions for yourself, but when you come across some advice on life and it counteracts what you believe, suddenly the ego mind begins to tell you that your decisions aren’t good enough or smart enough. That tailspin that I was talking about comes into play and you start to place more value on the opinion of someone else, instead of trusting yourself. Cultivate that great relationship with yourself and trust your beliefs and values!
You Should: Gets You into a Funky Space If you Disagree with Someone Else. I’ve experienced this a lot, especially when it comes to health and wellness. I’ll read an article where I am told what I should and should not eat, or what I should or should not be doing for physical exercise. Sometimes, I disagree, but then I start to feel bad about it because, clearly, my opinion can’t be right in comparison to this published article. We get into that comparative space that then takes us into that really low, negative vibe. If you disagree with someone’s advice, don’t let it bring you down or question your own judgment!
You Should: Places the Belief That Where You Are Right Now Is Not Enough. You should be doing this or that to be the best that you can be. Well, what about all that you are doing right now, in this moment. We think that we always need to be doing more to be great, but it’s also so important to remember that we all are doing the best we can, in any given moment. Come back to this mentality instead of thinking that you have to do more and be perfect. You are amazing right now, in this moment!

In an effort to lead our very best lives, let’s work on eliminating these words. Step into your own power, make your own decisions, and allow your intuition to guide you. Because you have all the wisdom, knowledge, and intelligence that you need, there’s no room for all the you should’s in your life! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Have a great week!

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