On the importance of Perseverance

It is difficult to continue with something when you think you're heading in the wrong direction. It's more than self-doubt, it's the absolute assurance that what you're doing is not going to be good.

That's what I'm going through right now.

I have begun the first book of a fantasy series (I'm projecting about five books in the series) and I'm just over 45k words in.

It's dreadful. That's what I tell myself most days that I'm writing. Sure, there are a few good days here and there where I think "This isn't so bad" but more often than not I finish my writing for the day and shake my head in shame.

People who don't write might say, "Just change it up, start over, make it more interesting." Well that's a bit like telling a sculpture to just put a little of the marble back that he's chipped away.

Writing has never worked like that for me. I don't always feel completely in charge of what's going on. Stories have a life of their own and they unfold in their own unique ways.

My biggest obstacle is that I've never really written fantasy fiction before. I've read some of it and I've enjoyed it, but I haven't written anything.

So why write a fantasy series? Well, because I had the idea. A kernel of knowledge from my past came back to me and I had what I thought was a good idea. I still think it's a good idea, I'm just not confident that I'm doing it justice.

Add to all this the fact that I'm thinking about writing four more of these books and it's enough to make me scared to go to the computer.

This has rarely been a problem for me. But it did happen once, and it was quite recently.

I wrote a book called, Two Worlds, which will be released in September and I was convinced that the book was boring and dull and I just wasn't doing it justice. I slogged through and continued to write until the book was done and then I put it away for a couple of months.

I worked on other things and one day I realized that it was time to take, Two Worlds, out and read through it for the first edits.

What I discovered surprised me. Enough time had passed so that it seemed as if I were reading someone else's book.

And it was good.

Not to pat myself on the back, but better than good really. It was all that I wanted it to be and more. I think it's some of the finest work that I've done. I am very proud of that novel.

While I was writing it, I had doubts that it would ever be good enough to see publication.

Therein lies the lesson. When you are down in the trenches and fighting through the words and fighting to see the pictures in your head, it can all look gray and gloomy. It's wonderful when you feel the electricity hum through you and know that you're doing good work but that doesn't always happen.

Yet, you don't need that feeling to be doing good work. I certainly never had it when I was writing, Two Worlds, and yet it was there. The old magic that writers live for. It was on the page the whole time.

I just couldn't see it until I took a step back.

So no matter how hard it gets, no matter how ugly the sentences seem to you, don't give up. Continue clicking those keys and getting out your story. It will never be perfect (none of us ever are) but I'm willing to bet that it will be much better than you think.

Trust yourself and let the words come.